User:Chenzhih/Gender inequality/Lucy.kary Peer Review

User:Chenzhih/Gender inequality/Lucy.kary Peer Review

General info
Username: Chenzhih
 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Chenzhih/Gender inequality
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gender inequality

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Zhihuang, this is Lucy Karyagina peer reviewing your article.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? I see you added a whole new section titled Video Games and the content was so unique and relevant to the class and article itself! I believe it is super important to discuss women in the video game industry since it is so vague and not talked about much.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? Yes, they are all from the late 2010s and early 2020s.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? In your first paragraph, I like how you mentioned the Mario game and the misogyny ideology within the game. Maybe try finding one more statistic from another game to support the same claim Mario is representing in the article you provided. Also within your third paragraph, where you say this sentence "Women are routinely subjected to sexist and misogynistic comments, harassment, and threats". I would take that out because it is a repetition of what you say in the second paragraph.
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? Yes it talks about the equity gap of women and their representation video games.

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? It is neutral for the most part, however, I can see how you tend to write in essay format and tone. Wikipedia is all about hard facts and statistics. I would advise, if you want, to change up the wording in the first part of the first paragraph to not make it seem like a thesis. The first few sentences would actually be great as your lead though!
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? Not necessarily because this article is based on underrepresentation of women in video games so it almost only reflects on that, however, to make it more factual based try changing words such as"can" to they do.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? I would say yes because due to certain language used such as "toxic" and "misogynistic". Although this is a hard topic to not have opinions on, try to neutralize some words to not make it as intense.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes, reputable articles are used such as The New York Times
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes they all work.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Yes it is easy to read and well written.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? It is well organized in the sense that it starts with some examples and ends with statistics.


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? I believe this section does add greatly to the full article because it brings in something modern and relevant to today's society.