User:Chicanaart2021/Jeaneen Carlino/Tcspencer01 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Chicanaart2021


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Chicanaart2021/Jeaneen_Carlino?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
The content of the lead-in is perfect! The introductory sentence includes the most relevant information about the artist, and it leads into the major sections, although I would perhaps save some of these details for those later sections (ex: the tools she uses could be saved for a later section called "Style"). Also, just a few quick suggestions on wording:


 * 1) Instead of saying "feminist focused art," you could say, "art focused on feminism."
 * 2) I would delete "undeniable" in this sentence to make it less persuasive: "Her art aims to highlight the undeniable strength which women embody."
 * 3) There's a change of tense from present to past tense in this sentence: "She views the process of creating art as a spiritual practice as she uses it to appreciate the nature around her while simultaneously aided her in her self-growth journey."
 * 4) This sentence split is a bit awkward: "While she is a visual artist, she incorporates various mediums and materials in her art. Some of which include..."
 * 5) Maybe start the second sentence with, "Her tools include..."
 * 6) This is a bit too colloquial: "Her art consists of lots of bold designs..."
 * 7) Maybe change it to "Her art style typically consists of bold designs..."

The content of the article's body is also very appropriate! Here are my suggestions:

Biography:


 * 1) Include information about her college education later in the biography, that way it's in chronological order.
 * 2) Rephrase "This inspirational period she named 'The Birth of My Woman'" to "She named this inspirational period 'The Birth of My Woman.'"

Art:

Very strong section overall!


 * 1) This sentence needs a comma before "which": "Additionally, she has had her artwork on display by the Social and Public Art Resource Center (SPARC) which is founded by Chicana artist, activist, and University of California Los Angeles professor, Judy Baca."
 * 2) The links in this section felt like they disrupted the flow of the article a bit. Could they be moved to references?

All content is backed up by a source of information, and the sources are current. The content is easy to read and well-organized. Great job!