User:Chicken Nuggets In A Blender/Mario Chalmers/Sagealvarez04 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Chicken Nuggets in a Blender


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Chicken Nuggets In A Blender/Mario Chalmers
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mario Chalmers

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

Overall, I think the lead in section is written very well. It details the main topic, Mario Chalmers, and reviews the main points of his career and the subsequent sections. It is well balanced and does not include information not reported in the body section of the article. However, this section doesn't seem to include any of his achievements while playing in the NBA other than mentioning his pick number. The lead is concise but also highlights the most important details of the article.

Content:

The article seems well updated as it includes the most recent employment (i dont know the right term) history and details his current contract length. The article looks well developed and does not seem to be missing information after reading it, but after a quick scan of the sources, most of them are from 5 or more years ago and there is probably updated information, particularly about his personal life and charity.

The article does a great job of highlighting the fact that Mario was the first, and the only NBA player born in Alaska.

I did notice that the section on Charity seems to be outdated, as the most recent updates are from 2012 and 2013.

Tone and Balance:

The article does a great job of staying unbiased. Although Mario is shown to be a good basketball player, this is backed by facts only, not opinions or biases. I was slightly confused by the Miami Heat last paragraph. The article states, "On September 3, 2008, Chalmers and fellow former Kansas Jayhawks teammate Darrell Arthur were excused from the NBA's rookie transition program." After reading this sentence, I was unsure if this was just bad wording or if the author was purposely trying to downplay the "incident".

Sources and References :

The sources regarding Mario's professional career seem accurate and well sourced. Although they are not sourced from historically marginalized individuals, as Mario is a professional sports player, this would be challenging. As I mentioned before, I found the section about the incident under Miami Heat very confusing. After reading the sourced articles, there is much more information regarding this "incident" that I feel should be included in the article

After clicking on a few of the sources, they all still seem to work, however a few of them seemed a bit unreliable. Particularly #2 http://www2.kusports.com/news/2008/jul/10/chalmers_signs_deal_heat/ which requests you fill out a survey before reading the article and is covered in ads.

Organization:

While overall, the content was understandable and a simple read, there were some areas that could definitely use improvement.

Although someone with better knowledge of basketball might understand this, the phrase "After working out for 13 teams" in the first paragraph of the Miami Heat confused me. What does this mean? If this is a basketball term it doesn't make sense to people who don't know basketball.

There were also quite a few sentences in the timeline of his professional career that seemed wordy and difficult to read. That section could definitely use revision in order to flow more smoothly.

In particular, I didn't like this sentence : "In November 2016, after recovering from the Achilles injury, Chalmers was ready to make his comeback." Although maybe not completely bias, it seems out of place in the article and doesn't fit with the rest of the tone.

The section on his personal life was also a bit wordy and not laid out well. I found it confusing to read and it seemed almost rushed. I think it would benefit from a few different paragraphs and some distinction between periods in his life.

Images :

The images are well captioned and placed in a visually appealing way. From what I can see they seem to adhere to wiki guidelines.

Overall

I do not see any new edits from the original article.