User:Chickenramen2112/Watts family murders/Lylamarasco Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)  Lylamarasco


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Chickenramen2112/Watts family murders - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Watts family murders - Wikipedia
 * Watts family murders - Wikipedia
 * Watts family murders - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
''his daughters followed into the room, Bella the oldest had "bruised eyes and both girls looked like they had been through trauma." He later then, truly successfully took their lives.  Cherlyn Cadle used this information straight from Christopher, in the creation of her book, The Murders of Chris Watts.''

￼(The wording was a little confusing for the readers, so I suggested rewording this)

You tend to bring up the quote "this will be a tough sell" for the house a few times in different paragraphs. Maybe just say this once and add more information about the selling of the house instead.

I am not sure what's above what you added but if they didn't specify Shannon was his wife I would add that in the first paragraph. ￼

Maybe for the final draft elabarate with the information alittle more. You know lots of information already and show interet so try explanding on that!