User:ChloejWard/Synthetic Gemstones/Apirah.n Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User: ChloejWard


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ChloejWard/Synthetic_Gemstones?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * New article

Lead
The lead section defines synthetic gemstones and briefly mentions the important elements such as how it is made, its purpose, and why synthetic gemstones are important. This a good start for a lead section, however, more details can be added to provide the reader with a general, but more in-depth understanding of these elements, incase they choose not to read the entire article. For example, the author can add a sentence briefly describing the melt and solution processes, give examples of industrial purposes that synthetic gemstones are used for, and add more detail as to how synthetic gemstones are more environmentally friendly than conventional gemstones (e.g: Synthetic gemstones use X tonnes of CO2, versus conventional gemstones that uses X tonnes of CO2 ). This will add more clarity and help readers understand the importance of the elements that will be discussed in later sections.

Content
The subheadings added are relevant to the topic. The "Creation Process" and its types (melt and solution) have been added, which are important to the topic and builds off of what was mentioned in the lead section. "Types of Synthetic Gemstones" is also an important element of the topic. However, the actual "content"/writing under these subheadings are missing, so I am not able to give a detailed evaluation. I can recommend however, to use several different peer-reviewed journals for this section, as opposed to just one or two. Also, try to find sources that have been published more recently. When writing about these subtopics, it would be helpful to compare it with conventional gemstones where possible (it can be a few sentences), so that readers will have more clarity as to how synthetic gemstones differ from conventional practices.

Tone and Balance
There is not enough content for me to evaluate this entirely, but based off the lead section the content is neutral and focuses on stating facts. There are no claims that are heavily-biased toward one particular position. However, the lead section does mention that synthetic gemstones prevent the negative environmental effects that you would generally find with conventional gemstones. The word "prevents" may assume that there is NO negative environmental effects associated with synthetic gemstones, which may or may not be true. This needs a bit more clarity as it could potentially cause the reader to think that synthetic gemstones are always better than conventional gemstones.

Sources and References
There are only two sources mentioned in the bibliography, one that is from 2000 and another that is not dated. This can be problematic as readers should able to see where and when the information was found. Although these sources are peer-reviewed, it is important that they are from more recent years to account for any new discoveries made or to refute any false information from previous studies. Each sentence must be cited as well, so that readers know where the information/claim was pulled from. For example, in the lead section, the second paragraph is not cited despite making a strong claim about the environmental effects of synthetic gemstones. Finally, try to find multiple peer-reviewed sources from different authors and journals to make sure there is limited bias in your writing.

Organization
The lead section is well structured. It defines the topic and then delves into what will be discussed in subsequent sections. The order/breakdown of the subtopics also makes sense, with the creation process being discussed first, followed by the type of gemstones. There is not enough content for me to evaluate, however, as mentioned previously, the lead section needs a bit more expanding to give the readers more clarity. The lead section does not have any grammatical or spelling errors and is easy to read.

Overall impressions
This lead section is a great start to the draft of this article. My recommendation is to use the latest peer-reviewed sources and to cite all your additions. Since this is a new article as well, I recommend adding images to further enhance the reader's understanding of the content being discussed. Images of synthetic gemstones beside conventional ones, the creation process, the different types of synthetic gemstones, etc...