User:Chloesuzette/OLES2129

Week 3, Workshop 1 Activity
Activity 1: Find an article on a topic that you are interested in or are knowledgeable about. Have a look at the first substantial edit on that page through its revision history. If you had created this article first - what would you have done differently? If you were the second reader, how would you have edited the article? Write up your thoughts on your user page (100-200 words is plenty).

I chose to look at the article about Rhythm Games. In it's introduction, it makes the statement that "The 1996 title PaRappa the Rapper has been deemed the first influential rhythm game,", without providing a clear source or evidence to this claim. It does however, make reference to a GameSpot article later in further reference, but I found this quite subjective. If I were the second editor, I would have re-worded the statement, perhaps to say "The 1996 title PaRappa the rapper has been referred to as on of the first influential rhythm games among the gaming community, as well as early mechanical-arcade systems..." or "A GameSpot article refers to the 1996 title PaRappa the Rapper as the first influential rhythm game, which many in the gaming community have agreed with this statement." Other than this, I agreed with the structure and format of the article, with the division of sub-headings easy to follow and refer to. perhaps my only other note would be to change how titles of games are addressed: in the Virtual idol-featured rhythm games (2008–present) subheading, the list of games looks very disorganised and is hard to read; I would format these titles into either a table or bullet-point.

Week 6 Editing
Marvel Superstars - Talk discussed how undated the information was, edit made was to format the "Organized Play" Section into the past tense and add a comment of the project's cancellation.