User:Chris handusa

Full Name: Christopher Mathew Hand DOB: February 5th 1981 Place of Birth: Irby, Wirral Favourite Colour: Black Significant Other: Conan

Christopher was born to Mr. and Mrs. Hand in the early spring of 1981 in the picturesque village of Irby, part of the Wirral penincular.

Chris showed an above average intelligence from an early age and throughout his school years he excelled in History and Political subjects. At the same time his extra-curricular skills were also being honed, often he could be seen to be perfecting his chess skills (he was the roundest ever Irby primary school captain) or seeing how long he could go without a wee.

During his time at Calday Grange Grammar School 6th Form Chris experienced his first taste of foreign travel when he flew to the resort of Kavos, on the island of Corfu with 8 of his school friends. The experience had a marked effect on the developing man and the love of travel and freedom has stayed with Chris to this day. His dream destination of Thailand remains a long term dream, however in recent times he has worked in America and is often seen with a faraway look on his face on his bed. The idealology of freedom, flight and power also led to a facination with the mythical 'dragon' creature which Chris now sees as his personal guardian angel and symbol of power.

Chris's University years were a hard mix of work and experimentation. During his 3 years studying History at Lancaster University his academic standard reached a 2.1 level and he was awarded his degree in the summer of 2002. The social side of his University life meant he often went days without speaking sense or emerging from his room, occasionally chewing his face off. Chris also decided to devote much of his time to perfecting the art of eating a very hot curry. The reason for this has remained a closely guarded secret and even now people can only speculate however his claims to have eaten a curry so hot it killed another man carry much weight amongst the Gilroy community. It was also during this time that he kissed Pete's sister.

Since leaving University Chris has come to much more prominance. In May 2004 he moved to Gilroy Road and set up residence as part of the 'Gilroy Road Runners' although it is unlikely he has ever actually run anywhere. Even from the first day in this new residence Chris knew he was destined for greatness. On a long walk home from 'The Firehouse' Chris noticed his friends energies beginning to fade and so with no thought for his own regard he decided to lift their spirits by throwing himself into a ditch full of oil, then rolling in nettles and finally electrocuting himself on a fence. This selfless act worked wonders as he had intended and his friends walked the final mile with a smile on their face.

During the last two years Chris has become something of a West Kirby fixture and legend and can often be seen around the sleepy village, particularly in phone boxes. Anyone wishing to catch a glimpse of him only has to look for the red-striped mysterious man leaning on his own at the 'Players' bar. Although this pose might look somewhat defensive and anti-social this is merely a facade and Chris genuinly wants people to talk to him. His choice of Black/dark clothes simply means that he is the easiest to pick out at any given opportunity, plus he does not have to waste his energies deciding what to wear as everything is pretty much the same. The stain resistance value also means that he can go several days before washing his clothes.

The daredevil within the man still beats, as recently Chris partook in a skydive where he had a man attached to him back as they dropped several thousand feet together before pushing back hard and making a techbook entry into the landing spot. Chris is also a keen paintball fan and often refers to the arena as 'his domain'. Pity to the man, woman or child who should step into his gun sights as Mr. Hand has perfected his trigger finger during many hours playing 'Ghost Recon' the xbox game for up to four players, aged 8 and over. In training himself for paintball Chris often attempts missions solo, by running away from his friends and developing his lone wolf skills. He is also the only person allowed to use grenades.

The skills that Chris has at his disposal do not end here. Chris is a pestigious drinker and it is a brave man that decides to take Chris on when he is in 'the mood'. Often his tipple of choice is red wine or Guiness, he has been known to also stray to lager on a rare occasion. While his maximum volume is exception Chris does occasionally suffer from what is known as 'drinkers droop' and on these nights the alcohol merely evaporates away, rather than any actually entering his body. Despite these obvious qualities Chris is a restless young man and is constantly seeking new challenges and skills, soon he hopes to learn how to use the hoover.

Despite several successful forrays into the love arena at the time of writing Chris remains a confirmed bachelor at the time of writing and seems to have adopted a 'sit back and watch' attitude, especially true of his internet sites. However it has not always been this way and a full list of the lucky ladies Chris has admitted to be attracted to is listed below: