User:Chrispedia315/Data Care/Olubabasuyi Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Chrispedia315


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Data care


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Your citations are very effective.

I get a good sense of what data care means and what the concept entails

Your claims are all supported by really good references, all of which seem relevant to the topic and unbiased

Sometimes your language reads a bit essayist (as though you're trying to convince the reader) which I do not think is neutral. This is something to watch for

The way you open is odd, you open the article with a problem instead of an introduction to the topic which gives the impression of an argumentative essay.

I am referring to this : "Data has progressively become more and more utilized in our society all over the world. When it comes to securely storing a medical patient's data, an employee's data, or a citizen's private data..." In the next sentence, you introduce the concept of data care. I would encourage you to open with a definition.