User:Chrono King

WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE EHS ARTICLE, F***ING ADMINS!


 * After being disbanded for a 3 years the EHS anti-zombie team has been reformed. Its new captain is Nick Dorfner. In a feat of bravery and lunacy he has proved himself a true anti-zombie activist when he recently leapt into a horde of zombies with only a machete. He would exit the horde an hour later covered in gore with a kill count of 1678.


 * After the failed summoning of Chtullu the demon worship cult-... I mean CLUB has broken up. With any luck though the Necronomicon will show up to reunite the team.


 * At EHS students are free to do whatever they wish in their time after school. This policy has lead to the creation of the elite sports teams like Zombie Killer Squad, pot smoking hippie congregations such as the Pro-Zombie acceptance committee, brutal rebel organizations like the Zombie Hate club, and blasphemous cults like Computer Club.

And I, Nick Dorfner was under Noted allumni... Sigh, you just can't have any fun any more.

Anyway moving on to some of my personal history.


 * Nick Dorfner is the National World Record holder for zombie kills. He currently has the score of 5678. This number is expected to increase over the year.
 * Nick is known for being an Anti-Demon activist. He once killed a Balrog summoned by the Demon Worship club by plunging a silver spear through its hip.
 * Once at a party someone told Nick that Demons were just people with horns and a nasty disposition and they deserved our respect and love. This is recorded by historians as the biggest mistake in history. There were no survivors.
 * No picture of Nick is available as the sheer awesomeness of his appearance is enough to shatter and Camera.
 * Several attempts have been made on Nick’s life, all of which have ended in failure. The most notable of which was when a cult sent an army of 4,000 greater demons of varying types lead by Galgramesh the demon prince of the 4th circle. Nick commented before going to fight the army saying: "Thank goodness, this was looking like it was going to be a slow Tuesday." After the battle Nick dumped the bodies of the demons into Lake Champlain.
 * VT was chastised for having a WMD in it's position. The VT government responded: "Sorry, we didn't know a 15 year old boy could be a WMD."

Some ND quotes.
 * "Heil Hitler!."
 * "Ask questions first, shoot anyway."
 * "I plead the 2nd."
 * "I f***ing hate demons."
 * "Don't fear, fear, that's just stupid. Be afraid of death, monkeys, spiders and stuff like that. Jeez."
 * "Don't be afraid of demons, they're all pussies. Trust me on this one"
 * "If I ever learned anything in life, it's that you can never beat a tankard of ale, full access cable  TV,and an NRA aprroved fully loaded revolver."
 * "This house is protected by the Hecklor and Kotch security system."
 * "If your ever feeling down, and you think that nobody cares there's only one thing you can do. Get over it and stop whining you pussy!"