User:Chuevos/Dovetail Project/Pvazq3 Peer Review

General info

 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Chuevos/Dovetail Project

Evaluate the drafted changes
Comments on the Lead:

- Drop words such as "like" and "also", makes the lead seem informal. The lead does a good job in informing the reader on basic information on the organization, such as dates.

- I like the lists included that inform the reader of why the organization is important.

- I was thinking maybe the year the organization was founded could be included in the "History" section rather than the lead.

Comments on Content:

- The content provided is relevant to the organization and doesn't contain any unnecessary information.

- I was looking at a website that included information on how Dovetail impacts its graduates, "Previous program data indicates Dovetail graduates spend more time with their children, feel more confident in their abilities, understand their legal rights and responsibilities, and are better prepared for employment and/or continuing education" (https://www.sharednation.org/products/the-dovetail-project). Perhaps including more information could help strengthen the companies' credibility.

- I found a stat that seems relevant to this, "children with involved fathers are 80% less likely to spend time in jail, and 75% less likely to become young parents themselves" (https://people.com/human-interest/chicago-man-launches-org-to-help-dads-in-underserved-communities/).

- Another fact you could include: "Founded in 2009 by Sheldon Smith, The Dovetail Project has graduated more than 400 young fathers" (https://www.newswire.com/news/the-dovetail-project-kicks-off-black-history-month-with-300-000-21944531#:~:text=Founded%20in%202009%20by%20Sheldon,in%20their%20families%20and%20communities.). Notes how many dads this organization has assisted.

- In the "History" section, you could include Smith's daughter as being a reason to creating the Dovetail Project: "Smith was 21 years old when he welcomed his daughter Jada in 2009. That’s when he created the Dovetail Project" (https://www.today.com/parents/dads/dads-got-one-chicago-dad-breaking-cycle-absentee-fathers-rcna26430)

- In the "12 Week Curriculum" tab, you can also add how many times a week they meet and who they work with "Participants in the program meet once a week in a classroom setting, and then separately with case managers to focus on job development" (https://www.today.com/parents/dads/dads-got-one-chicago-dad-breaking-cycle-absentee-fathers-rcna26430).

- Instead of saying "his father was in and out of his life" in the "History" tab, you could say "he had an absent father" (more concise that way).

- I think beginning with summarizing this bit:

{ "Things began to change after youth development and advocacy organization Metropolitan Area Group for Igniting Civilization (MAGIC) opened an office in the building where Smith lived. The director, Joseph A. Strickland, AM‘02, observed Smith with older teens, recognized his leadership skills, and offered him a job.

“My male role models came from MAGIC; they were my mentors and father figures, along with my football coach,” recalls Smith }

(https://civicengagement.uchicago.edu/news/dovetail-project-supports-young-fathers-with-help-from-community-programs-accelerator)

By introducing Smith's start as an advocate for others, I think it makes a smother transition to why he created Dovetail.

- Perhaps you could include an "Honors" or "Awards" tab for their accomplishments such as:

"Smith’s vision and the Dovetail Project’s early success led UChicago to select the organization as one of the first participants in its Community Programs Accelerator in 2014" (https://civicengagement.uchicago.edu/news/dovetail-project-supports-young-fathers-with-help-from-community-programs-accelerator)

- Capitalize "fatherhood relief fund" in the first sentence of that tab

- Include the fact that Vernon Owens is the director of this program: "Program director Vernon Owens began his work with the program in 2012 when Smith reached out to him for help" (https://www.chicagotribune.com/people/ct-dovetail-project-training-for-young-fathers-20210615-ytyg7d5aevb67axq4cyqc4k53e-story.html).

Comments on Tone and Balance:

- The tone for the wiki is neutral and doesn't show signs of speaking negatively on the organization. You used words such as "positive" and "critical" to emphasize the necessity for this organization. I don't think it sounds biased.

Comments on Organization:

- The website was organized well, there wasn't anything out of order or misplaced.

Extra Thoughts:

+ The "(ALSO FOUND ON UGG)" in the "12 Week Curriculum" looks a bit odd; maybe you could integrate into a sentence or delete it completely if it doesn't mix with what you are trying to portray.

+ Your website does a good job in providing the overall essentials about the organization, good job :)