User:Claireckm/Diana and Actaeon (Titian)/Adammilewski Peer Review

General info
Claireckm
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * - User:Claireckm/Diana and Actaeon (Titian)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * - Diana and Actaeon (Titian)

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * Not yet. I like how you are adding a section on the actual composition of the painting. Everyone of the artists that we have taken a look at so far has made almost every brush stroke deliberate and there is a meaning behind everything that they do in the painting. I think adding more to this as well as what some scholars think these deliberate choices in the painting mean would be a great addition to the article. For example, why does he not finish certain aspects of the painting, or the role of the setting of the picture, the role of nudity in painting at this time would all be good topics to expand upon/ do further research on.
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Yes
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * I think adding a sentence describing the topic that will be covered in the article would be beneficial to the article as a whole. The reader of the article will get a greater sense of what the upcoming information will be about and will be able to articulate what you will be talking about.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * I think that you are still developing this lead section and will eventually add the additional topics that you will be covering
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?
 * The lead as of right now is concise, maybe a little too concise. I think adding a little bit about the narrative of the painting as well as more background information on the painting itself would be beneficial.

Content

 * I read the original article from the current wikipedia page, and there seems to be a lot about the actual physical location and movement of this painting in the world including who owned it and when. I mean I think this is interesting to know but expanding on this is probably not needed since the original article covers that in great depths. So it’s good that you are looking for different ways to approach adding to this article. Again I think the information you want to add including the composition of the actual painting is great. I think just do more research on this topic, figure out what people think about the setting, deliberate choice to portray the characters in the way that they are, and Titian thinking behind the painting and the content of the article will be proficient.

Tone and Balance

 * I think a lot of the content presented so far in your sandbox draft is quotations from the articles that you conducted research on. This is great so far, I think just doing a little more research on the actual composition and the relevancy of the composition, and then presenting those findings in a neutral manner would make the article much more elaborate and strong.

Sources and References

 * The links that I clicked on did work and did bring me to the sources that you were referring to which is good. I think the articles that you have chosen are good since they are from scholarly papers and/or books. The only thing is I think, and I’m sure you were already planning on doing this, but find more sources to develop your article even more. I think finding a diverse array of sources allows you to write an article that is more reflective of different points of view and covers different ways of thinking about the same topics. Its good that you put the citation of the quotes that you used in the sandbox draft. I would just avoid making the whole article quotations and incorporate mainly paraphrasing to make a more concise and flowing article.e

Images and Media

 * I think incorporating more images to the article page would make the wiki article stronger. Maybe find other paintings of TItian that use similar techniques in painting that he uses here. This could actually be another section that you could add to your article, “how was the painting made”. Talk about the canvas/paper that he painted on and the actual paint that he used. Is this technique seen in Titian's other paintings that he has done. And yeah, just make sure to add appropriate caption to the images that you add as well as the proper citation if needed for those.

Overall impressions

 * Overall I think your article is on the right track, I don’t like how the original article was just the progression of where the article has been during its time on the planet.. I think that just really surface level and doesn’t get into the importance of the painting itself. The sections that you are working on are good additions, just develop those ideas more, find more articles and different perspectives on those ideas and it will be strong. Adding a section on the technique/materials used to make that painting will also be a good addition and a means of comparing this painting to Titian’s other works. Finally, I think an important topic of the article that you should add and do research on, is what was the message behind this painting, what was Titian trying to tell/show us in this work.