User:Cliter

LAUGHTER TIME WITH CLITER

I.          Peter has not worked for a long time, for years. One day he was sitting by my side. The day was very sunny and he said, "If I had been working somewhere, I would have taken a holiday today." And he has not been working for many days, for years! He is missing work because he cannot take a holiday. From where to take a holiday? He remembers the working only when it comes to taking a holiday. II. The housewife gave Peter a sandwich, but asked him, "Haven't you been able to find work?" "Yes, Lady, there is plenty of work," said the Peter "but everybody wants a reference from my last employer." "Can't you get one?" she asked. "NO," said Peter. "HE HAS BEEN DEAD TWENTY YEARS." III. Peter was complaining about his wife to a friend. "I don't know what I am going to do about her," he said. "She has the worst memory in the world." "You mean she forgets everything?" asked his friend. "HECK, NO," said Peter "SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING." IV. Peter had been fishing all afternoon. A man, who had just walked up, asked him, "How many have you caught today, Peter?" "Well," said Peter, "IF I CATCH THIS ONE THAT'S NIBBLING, AND THEN TWO MORE, I WILL HAVE THREE." V.           Peter came home and was told by his wife that the cook had quit. "Again?" moaned the Peter. "What was the matter this time?" "You were!" said his wife. "She said you used insulting language to her over the phone this morning." "GOOD GRIEF! " said Peter. "I AM SORRY, I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO YOU. " VI. Peter was sitting under a tree chatting with a neighbour, when his boy came up the road carrying a chicken. "Where did you get that chicken?" Peter asked his boy. "Stole it," said the boy. Peter turned to his friend and said proudly, "THIS IS MY BOY. HE MAY STEAL, BUT HE WON'T LIE." VII. "Where have you been for the last two hours?" demanded the man's wife. "I MET PETER IN FRONT OF THE POST OFFICE AND MADE THE MISTAKE OF ASKING HIM HOW HE WAS FEELING," said the man.