User:Clyde Marryweather

The White Hand

The “White Hand” resurfaced in the mid 2010’s in Gibsonia, Pennsylvania in the Pine Richland Area. It was reformed by a small group of privileged, white males. They have been seen committing the crimes of disturbing the peace, vandalism, and public indecency in some rare occasions. The acts of disturbing the peace include ringing doorbells and running away, leaving plastic eating utensils on the front yards of private property, and gently placing the shells, flipping trash cans, and yolks of eggs on resident’s houses and cars. One legendary heist consisted of ringing the doorbells of 7 houses and running away and going prone in the back of “Spot Lights” house. Enemies of the White Hand like “Spotlight Guy” include “Computer Guy”, “Hockey Guy”, “Jason Bourne”, and their worst enemy “Ass Hat”. At night, they drive around doing drive-by’s, honking car horns under tunnels, and playing “Break up in a Small Town” by “Sam Hunt”. According to gang member Tubby, the song is “The bus driver anthem”. There is reason to believe that the gang’s headquarters is the Cranberry Applebee’s.

The members and leaders of the gang have never been revealed, but there has been much speculation. Rumor says that someone with the gang name of “Goose Balls” is a key member to the heists committed by the gang. Other gang names of potential members include “Dirty Mike”, “Tubby”, “Chief”, “Crutt Butt”, “Card Czar”, “Skippy” “Gip”, “Hoe” “Big J”, “Gay C”, and the moving title of “D-Bag”. There is reason to believe that there is a power struggle in the White Hand, for who should be the leader. Just like the White Hand Gang from the early 1900’s, without a clear leader, the gang will fall apart into obscurity.