User:Clydeiii/Gypsy Baron

The Gypsy Baron

Act I - Hungary, 1740
Ottokar, a wealthy land owner, has lost his stash of Turkish Delight. Meanwhile, a flock of gypsies is awakening from hibernation after a long winter's rest in Ottokar's magical forests. The gypsies are revealed to be creatures of excellent agility, wisdom, and charisma points, as evidenced by their advanced spell casting, intricate metal work, and largish bosoms. Granny Czipra purchases truffles from Ottokar. The Carnero Brothers and Barnum Barinkay enter, looking to obtain creatures for their circus act.

They strike a deal with Ottokar: in exchange for all of his magic animals, the circusmen will attempt to convince Zsupán, another nearby landowner, to allow Ottokar to marry one of Zsupán's gators. According to the Privy Commission of Plot Devices, however, the pact must be signed by at least two witnesses, neither of whom must be able to read or write. This eliminates the intelligent, agile gypsy creatures, along with most others in 1740s Hungary, leaving only granny Czipra and Zsupán himself to witness the pact.

Mirabella arrives and, without prompting, immediately launches into a song about crossdressing. It is revealed that The Carnero Brothers are also into crossdressing, and then it is revealed that Ottokar is the product of a menage-a-troi of Mirabella and The Carnero Brothers, each of whom were drag queens and kings 20 years ago at the Battle of Belgrade nightclub.

Zsupán's daughter Aresna enters atop a gator and summons lightening bolts from off stage, frightening and agitating the flock of gypsies, who, now distraught, participate in a bizarre self-mutiliation ceremony. Barinkay, sensing that the gypsies are almost his, claims himself a Gypsy Baron. The flock of gypsies pays him little attention until one of their own, Saffi, sings her Mana Regen song. The gypsies are pacified, for now.

Act II - The Ruins of Castle Barinkay, the following morning
Barinkay awakes as Saffi sings in the shower: "Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere!"

Reviews
"The lead singers have great voices - I remember some of them from the last time." -- Stephen Holden, The New York Times