User:Cmckean02/Agriculture/1517luther Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Cmckean02 - Wikipedia


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Cmckean02/Agriculture - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Agriculture - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Cmckean02,

You have taken on quite the undertaking. It appears you are modifying the sections Livestock Production Systems and Plant Breeding. I'm unaware from your sandbox whether or not your sections will provide an addition to the current sections in the Wikipedia Agriculture article or replace the sections altogether. I will also note that my knowledge of agriculture is limited. ￼

Your strongest paragraph is the one about open grazing reducing fire hazards and open grazing benefitting plant life. This was extremely interesting and provided insight not mentioned in the original article. The initial sentence, "Providing the benefits of grass fed animals." seems to be a sentence fragment. I'm not sure if this is meant to be a heading or should be followed by a colon. In the sentence "Another Large aspect that is a benefit...", the word large should not be capitalized. The last sentence in the paragraph has two "and"s. It reads "and and land for many..." Please remove one of the ands.

Citations should be included within the paragraphs written and not just in the References section. Regarding citations, with the first citation from East Bay Regional Park District, I believe it would more effective to cite from the resources they used for their article which are listed on the page under Resources. This would mean you are using the more primary resource. Your second reference is from a blog, Vittana.org Personal Finance Blog. Maybe you could find this same resource or author in a published source. Your other two references are solid.

The sentence "Technologies that is beneficial..." should read "are beneficial."

I thought you did a good job of simplifying the section on plant breeding since Plant Breeding has its own article on Wikipedia. It would be helpful if some of your like pollution decreasing in agriculture or leading to extinction in certain species could be linked either to the section in the Wikipedia article Plant Breeding that addresses those advantages or disadvantages or cites an outside source.

Overall, you have a great start and are providing useful information that will be of benefit to the original article.