User:Cmcopti/J. D. March/TeamTalonflame Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Chloe @Cmcopti


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Cmcopti/J._D._March


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * n/a

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Your lead paragraph does a good job including major info on March. I suggest adding her pseudonym Ajax into this paragraph since it serves as an alternate title, rather than in personal life/career. I would say the last sentence, specifically the Girljock part, is a bit clunky--maybe it can just be shortened to something like, ". . . including the underground series Gay Comix/Gay Comics, the lesbian sports magazine Girljock, . . ." And then I think it's allowed to hyperlink Girljock to my Roxxie article when it's done!

Content

You've found a lot of specific places where March appears! Don't forget that she shows up in the first issue of Girljock.

I think it's cool that you cover her bi-dyke identity as well.

(Also there's a small typo in "pseudonym" under Comics and Contributions)

Tone and Balance

Your tone is perfectly objective and you deliver information clearly.

Sources and References

I already mentioned this but to put it into writing, it may be a good idea to look into sources talking about Gay Comix and perhaps its impact/goals that March contributed toward.

Organization

Under comics and contributions, it might be easier to put the name of the periodical first pertaining to Gay Comix so you can see all the comics that fall under that umbrella.

I also don't know if it's necessary, but you might be able to incorporate your secondary sources more by pointing to specific things they say that March is directly/indirectly apart of? This is difficult when there isn't much specifically said on her. Maybe covering the context with which she was working with, i.e. societal environment on queers or stuff talking about Gay Comix.

Overall, this is a concise telling of March and her contributions, and I believe she is sufficiently notable.