User:Cmiller6632/sandbox

Awakening from a romantic dream involving a shirtless Pastor Paul (Mackenzie Astin) riding a horse amidst a surreal muffin-filled garden, Claire (Kristin Wallace) greets the day by asking her loving but agoraphobic mother, Henrietta (Saxon Trainor), if she can make muffins. Downstairs, Claire despairs over having no vanilla for the muffins which is an invitation to her mother to lecture Claire on the "anticipointment" of life, the primary takeaway being that expecting too much from others always leads to disappointment. Wanting to hand out the muffins while still warm, Clair convinces her mother to allow her to deliver the muffins door-to-door as long as Claire promises to run home immediately after the last muffin is delivered. Claire kisses her mother goodbye and departs for the neighborhood gift giving journey. Soon after leaving, an encounter with a neighborhood tree leads to a nosebleed and ends the muffin delivery quest, but Danielle (Lyndsy Fonseca) witnesses the accident and runs outside to help Claire off the ground where she lay seemingly stunned but awake and brings Danielle inside to stop the nosebleed.

Inside Danielle's house, nursing a nosebleed with a tampon inserted into one of her nostrils, Claire is fascinated by a world map in Danielle's room showing pins inserted in countries all over the world. When Claire asks Danielle if she has been to all the countries with pins Danielle says her uncle has been to all the countries with red pins and the blue pins show where Danielle wants to go one day. Danielle's father, Pastor Paul, enters the room and greets Claire with a friendly hello. Seeing the awkwardly placed tampon in her nose, Pastor Paul expresses concern that Clair's mother must be worried and offers to give Claire a ride home. Infatuated by Pastor Paul, Claire quickly agrees to a ride home. Declining the invitation from her father to ride along to take Claire home, Danielle responds with a dry, "No, Paul", and Claire and Pastor Paul leave to take Claire home. During the ride home, Pastor Paul asks Claire to represent the parish at the upcoming youth retreat. Claire instinctively knows her mother would not want her to go and initially declines the invitation. Pastor Paul, determined to help Claire experience a broader world, says Claire would be perfect and adds humorously that it would be a sin not to attend and then gently but firmly says Claire's mother cannot attend. Arriving at her house, Claire says good night to Pastor Paul but quickly turns around to give Pastor Paul a muffin with Claire saying (missing the innuendo) the muffin was made "nice and moist" and includes a neighbor's zucchini. Claire smiles and leaves, but pauses at a curbside trash container to remove the tampon from her nose before going inside.

Later, on a daytime walk, Claire loudly greets Danielle who, surprised by Claire's sudden voice, drops her vintage camera onto the street and under a car rushing down the street, the camera being destroyed in the process. The following Sunday, in church listening to Pastor Paul preach, Claire daydreams about Pastor Paul, again shirtless, but now posing and moving seductively in front of Claire. She blinks awake and hears Pastor Paul's sermon about suffering the consequences for our actions and taking responsibility. Claire hurriedly rushes out of the sermon to Danielle's home to offer to buy her a new camera. Danielle accepts Claire's offer and tells Claire to meet her the following day with money to buy the new camera.

The next day, Claire and Danielle take Claire's mother's car to buy the new camera. Along the way, Claire hastily decides to get in the back seat forcing Danielle to stop. Once in the backseat, Claire play acts out commands to her "chauffeur Jeeves." A few minutes later, Claire's increasing anxiety of being away from homes forces Danielle to stop yet again while Claire gets out and runs a few feet before tiring. They take a break on the lift gate to eat "lettuce sandwiches" during which Danielle casually announces they need to leave and get to the camera store in Deersmith. This prompts an excited response from Claire, who's grandparents live in Deersmith. Danielle agrees to stop so Claire can visit with the grandparents she hasn't seen in 12 years. Meanwhile back at Claire's home, Henrietta spirals into a meltdown when she realizes her daughter is missing.

At Grasswinds, the place where Claire's grandparents live, Claire and Danielle discover Claire's mother story that the grandparents have dementia and are bed bound is not only false, but they are living a serene and active life in what appears to be a spiritual commune. Pastor Paul, unaware that Danielle has left to get her new camera with Claire, arrives home from running errands only to find Danielle missing.

Visit with grandparents over, Claire reluctantly says goodbye after an obviously eye-opening but sad conversation. Claire, now depressed but eager to keep the adventure going, leaves with Danielle on the next stage of their adventure. They stop at a gas station, where Danielle meets Trevor (A.J. Trauth), a wandering ukulele player, while Claire is coaxed into performing fellatio on a piece of beef jerky for the creepy gas station attendant. Afterwards, Claire finds Trevor and invites him along on the trip handing over the keys to the car. Outside, with the trio readying themselves to leave, Danielle is coy with Trevor but Trevor takes little notice. Claire abruptly announces the youth retreat as their next destination and the they set off.

Driving late into the night, they decide to stop at a motel where they share one room with one bed. Claire, while brushing her teeth, fantasizes that Trevor ties up and gags Danielle while Claire and Trevor enjoy an erotic night. A few minutes later, Claire kneels at the bedside and prays thanking God for sending her Danielle as a friend and wonders out loud that since God encourages followers to celebrate his creations, it must be okay to show her "jelly jams" and sleep topless. During the night, Trevor leaves unnoticed. In the morning, Claire and Danielle discover Trevor's letter and Danielle bolts after she blames Claire for causing Trevor to leave. Claire is left behind unaware of what happened. After driving a few miles, crying along the way, Danielle's guilt over lashing out at Claire leads her to turn around to return to the motel where Claire is still in bed, now watching a pornographic movie.

Concerned over their absence, Pastor Paul and Henrietta decide to go looking for their daughters. Along the way, they are stopped by a policewoman (Bitty Schram) who offers to help them locate their missing daughters. Meanwhile, Claire and Danielle have run out of gas and decide to walk to the nearest one, sharing a bottle of wine along the way. Soon, feeling happy and drunk, they stumble on a rave and are intrigued enough to go inside and join the fun. Unbeknownst to them, the party is being hosted by Artemis (Xander Berkeley) who's partner (Eric Roberts), Hal, turns out to be Claire's biological father. The policewoman tracks the girls and gets a report that the car has been spotted. Claire and Danielle wake up at Hal's home to discover Artemis has left to get their car repaired.

During breakfast, Paul and Henrietta, led by the policewoman, show up at Hal's. Paul immediately recognizes Hal while Hal recognizes Henrietta. Danielle, hungover from the night before, vomits in the kitchen, after hearing Henrietta reveal to Hal that Claire is his daughter. Claire discovers that Hal was a famous porn actor known as "Hal Spreadum" while Danielle tells Claire that Hal was the actor in the movie that they were watching at the hotel. Chaos ensues as the parents, policewoman, Hal, and Artemis bicker while Claire and Danielle observe the action silently. Despite the awkward revelations of the last few minutes, Claire announces to her mother that she still is going to the youth retreat and gets no resistance from her mother.

Soon, the entire group finds itself on the way to the retreat where Claire is preparing to speak. On stage, a nervous but more confident Claire shares her experiences and sums up her perspective that unlike Paul's recent sermon asking followers to suffer the consequences of their actions, Claire corrects him saying people should celebrate them.