User:Cnoellec49/Undertreatment of pain/Sh1539 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cnoellec49


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Cnoellec49/Undertreatment of pain


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Undertreatment of pain

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: No changes to lead which is fine, but consider revisiting what's already in the article. It is a little unclear what "authorities" in the last sentence are actually referring to.

Content:

Race- Really well written! The evidence you chose was very strong and clearly articulated what was going on.

Sickle cell - Just a few little things -- first sentence says "all 4," not sure what this is referring to. "Racial stereotyping and the opioid crisis has made physicians more hesitant," should be have. Otherwise, I thought that this was extremely well written and covered a lot about SCD! Your third paragraph is particularly strong and I felt like I learned a lot.

Gender - great

Causes - really nice work, the content fits within the context of the article and there were great examples from a variety of locations!

Consequences- it was really smart to include this as a section, and something the wiki page will really benefit from having!

History - not really sure why this is here, only having one sentence seems a little out of place

Tone and Balance: nice tone throughout, does not seem biased

Sources:

This should probably have a citation: "Sickle cell patients often face delayed care in emergency rooms, with patients at one hospital found to have 60% longer wait times to get pain medication compared to those with less severe symptoms of pain."

For the Causes section, double check that you're citing secondary sources and try not to focus on original case studies, as in the India / Latin America section.

Organization:

Consequences - it could be useful to separate this a bit more as QOL impact, physiological impact, and cost. I don't think QOL and cost go together too well.

Overall: Great job!!! I can tell that you all put a lot of hard work into this and I think it is going to strengthen the wiki page a lot!