User:Cnvillal/Alicia Garza/Syyye Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cnvillal


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Cnvillal/Alicia Garza


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Alicia Garza

Lead:
The lead section is missing. I think it would be good to talk about what Garza is known for, what are some of her crucial contributions to society and the BLM movement. In addition, it would be good to summarize what her career path was and stress why she is an important social justice and activist figure in America.

Content:
I would have liked to know more about how she got started with Opal Tometi and Patrisse Cullors. I think the black lives matter section could use more content about their collaboration and how they started to organize events, protests, etc. I think this section could also be updated with more recent protests that Garza has participated in, or spoken about.

For the personal section, I like the tattoo quote but I feel like maybe add something else as well to help add more content here. Does she have any hobbies? Pets? Fun facts?

For the podcast section it may be good to talk about some of the episode titles or summaries, what they discussed, if any notable guest speakers appeared.

For her book, I think you could add a few more sentences about what it is about. Has it won any awards or been praised by any other notable figures?

For the notability section, I think you should talk more about the BART train incident since it's not really explained at all it's kind of just glossed over. There is also no source for this. I think you could also hyperlink here with the " United Nations Office of the High Commission on Human Rights" to another wikipedia article.

Tone & Balance:
I think the tone is good and remains neutral. I think maybe talking about some of the backlash or criticism she has gotten might be relevant to add?

Sources:
Source 1 does not work for me. It's also for an instagram link so I'm not sure that's a good way to get a source. If you want to use an instagram post it would be better to find a news article or something else that includes it and then link it through that way.

Sources missing:


 * early life
 * education
 * 1st walmart being opened in Oakland 2005
 * BART train incident

Organization:

 * "In 2003 Garza returned to the Bay Area" returned from where??
 * "When the nearby work committee pulled their assistance in the action against Walmart, PUEBLO was unable to win " unable to win sounds somewhat biased (even though the walmart cooperation sucks and I do not want them to win). I think this sentence could be rewritten for more clarity.
 * " After leaving PUEBLO, Garza left PUEBLO  and began working with the UC Student Association for a year promoting activism to university students." Here you stated twice that she left Pueblo. I also think you should write out University of California since not everyone is familiar with UC as well as hyperlink to another wiki page. I would add some dates to your timeline.
 * "Following a brief sabbatical, Alicia Garza joined the National Domestic Workers Alliance creating a program focused on Black domestic workers" - I would change out the word sabbatical because its jargon or i would hyperlink so people could get the definition quickly. I would add dates here.
 * "Shortly before this, Garza founded Black Lives Matter with Patrisse Cullors and Opal Tomet i." The Black lives matter movement is placed below this sentence, so I feel like it should be above it if we are going down in chronological order of her career timeline. Or I would just take this sentence out since it's essentially just restated below once we start reading about the BLM movement.
 * "Described as "an essential guide", the book tells Garza's story as an activist and shares lessons for future activists[17]." An essential guide to what?

Images & Media:
I would like to see pictures of Garza speaking at events, protesting, pictures of her with Opal Tometi and Patrisse Cullors and other members of the BLM movement. I think also maybe creating a section for media with notable videos of her speaking may be a good idea as well. I liked the block quote with her facebook post that started the #BLM.

Overall:
I think you guys did a great job. I liked seeing more about her activist work. I think just in general going through the different sections and trying to fill in more details about the who, whats, whens and wheres is a good tactic. Also I think there are more places where you can try to hyperlink to other articles.