User:Coco0245/Chinese patriarchy/Kirsty Chai Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Coco Miller/ Natalie Campbell/ ZhuoLin Wu)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cocomiller/Chinese_patriarchy?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chinese patriarchy

Evaluate the drafted changes
These two users have made changes to the original text. First of all, they delete some contents from original text, and making "history" a major object of their project. In the draft, the author explains that patriarchal society is caused by Confucianism; however, because the article lacks of precise topic sentence, then reader may misunderstand the main statement of the article. Additionaly, the tone of the essay is mostly neutral expect the last sentence describe remain unmarried women as “leftover women”. After reading the article, there is no specific central idea because the title of the essay is patriarchalism, but there is very little content mention of patriarchalism in the entire content of the essay.