User:Cocoa2021/Pliocene/Phxntxsos Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cocoa2021 (https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Cocoa2021)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cocoa2021/Pliocene?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Pliocene

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? Yes.
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic? Yes.
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? No.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? No.
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? Concise.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? Yes.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? Yes; both sources are post-2000.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? No.
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? N/A

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? Yes.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? No.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? No.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? No.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.) From the sections they took information, yes.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? I believe so; they both reference a list of other sources, at least.
 * Are the sources current? Yes.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? N/A?
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Yes.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? Some grammatical errors.
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? Yes.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete? Yes.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? Provided details about the Pliocene and delved into a more specific view to support the overall article.
 * How can the content added be improved? There are some grammatical mistakes in the draft. Mainly, I would suggest 1) changing the perspective from second to third person (i.e. rephrase so there is no use of "we") and 2) to write consistently in present tense to match the established article, rather than interspersing it with past.

Pliocene's Environment
The Pliocene period was is a n very important period during in human evolution. during this period we saw C hanges in both the environment and those who lived there during this period have been found, and as well as information on how these two aspects affect ed each one an other. In fact, in during this period, we see i t can be seen how the humans who lived there stopped migrating, from one location to the next. These humans used to move from one place to the next, in order to continue gaining crucially needed materials and supplies from that specific area. Yet, and over time, humans started to stay in one area, and created a community there. Even when As the environment around them changed, they as well [awkward wording] also learned to change d in order to better fit in with their location. Due to the people residing in one specific area, we are able to see what it is possible to determine which genes have persisted and became have become dominant dominated, and what which genes became have become recessive and not un needed. In fact, we see this trend can be seen happening not only to the humans but as well as also to the plants in that the area. Some c hanges that could occur within the area is are the of the weather shifting between cooling and hearing periods as well as (from a cooling period to a hot, or vice versa), and [I think putting it in parentheticals is unnecessary because the point of this sentence is to list the changes that are occurring.] how humans now affect ed the area, ecosystem and environment by becoming as a permanent resident s. "The Pliocene period is an important period in human evolution. Changes in both the environment and those who lived there during this period have been found, as well as information on how these two aspects affect one another. In fact, during this period, it can be seen how the humans who lived there stopped migrating from one location to the next. These humans used to move from one place to the next in order to continue gaining crucially needed materials and supplies from that specific area and over time, humans started to stay in one area and created a community there. As the environment around them changed, they also learned to change in order to better fit in their location. Due to people residing in one specific area, it is possible to determine which genes have persisted and have become dominant and which genes have become recessive and unneeded. In fact, this trend can be seen happening not only to humans but also to the plants in the area. Some changes that could occur within the area are the of the weather shifting between cooling and hearing periods as well as how humans affect the ecosystem and environment by becoming permanent residents. This change of weather would make it necessary for humans, animals, and plants to adapt. With this come the births of new species, causing a ripple effect as new species begin to better fit in with the environment and become more dominant within the ecosystem."One hypothesis of regarding the Pliocene period takes place in Africa, this stated which states how humans had would have an affect effect ["affect" is a verb] on their environment due to their new physical traits ; one being, such as the humans’ changes in the brain. This development led subsequently leads to humans now cultivating new ways to live than before , one way included of which being the creation invention of gadgets ["gadgets" implies more advanced forms of technology] tool use . ' However, their once promised land of forests, ["once-promised" is too emotive]'' became a Savanna environment during the late Miocene period. Yet, some scientists disagreed and just stated that the environment became a less temperate climate, due to the weather changing, not humans. [this whole section doesn't make any sense; didn't the Pliocene come after the Miocene?]"One hypothesis regarding the Pliocene period takes place in Africa, which states how humans would have an effect on their environment due to their new physical traits, such as changes in the brain. This development subsequently leads to humans cultivating new ways to live, one of which being the invention of tool use."This change of weather caused would make it necessary for humans, animals, and plants to change their ways adapt. Thus, we start see With this come a the birth s of new species we never did before. This caused, causing a ripple effect , as new species became new and different than previous ones, to better begin to better fit with the new change in in with the environment and become more dominant within the ecosystem , yet and those that survived became a more dominant plant in their habitation. ''' [move this section to the end of the first paragraph; it fits better with the "weather" topic] Scientists are able to see the se changes in this particular that result from human settlement during this time period, as due to people settling in one place, we can see the changes that have occurred throughout all this time by looking at their lineages by studying the lineages of these settlers. Plants play an important role, as we are able to see how they too mutated throughout the years, and how the environment can cause one specific lineage of flower to mutate to multiple variation of that same flower. These plants allow scientist to know what events were occurring during this time frame, their mutations and variations over time provide researchers with information regarding the events of the time, as nearly everyone consumed them given thatthey were consumed by ''[?? what do you mean by "nearly everyone?" most humans? most extant species?]''. "Scientists are able to see the changes that result from human settlement during this time period by studying the lineages of these settlers. Plants play an important role, as their mutations and variations over time provide researchers with information regarding the events of the time, given that they were consumed by nearly everyone."