User:Coffeebeangirl/Crèche (zoology)/Teddyp1234 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Coffeebeangirl)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Coffeebeangirl/Cr%C3%A8che_(zoology)?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Crèche (zoology)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead of the article has been updated to include any new content added by coffeebeangirl. The editor has also included more information about what exactly a crèche is, and added more species that exhibit this behaviour. The introductory sentence effectively opens up the article that is concise and to the point, giving clear details about what the topic of the article is.Within the lead, the major sections are listed however not much information is given about them. For example, the lead lists the two species that exhibit a crèche but there are also other species listed that are not included within the article's major sections. The lead is concise and doesn't include any unnecessary information.

Content

The content added within the article draft is relevant to the topic of crèche (zoology). The editor added two informative sections describing two different species that exhibit this group behaviour within nature. The article had only previously listed these species within the lead, so I think the editor made a great decision to expand upon this sub-topics. The article is updated to include statistics, which is a great way to present scientific findings and help readers to understand more about the topic. The content added is up-to-date as the oldest source referenced is from 1989. The rest of the information cited is from recent years, so it is a fair assumption to say all content added is up-to-date. While this article is still a work in progress, the editor made a meaningful contribution to update found within their draft for this article. The expanded upon the lead, and made sub-sections about the crèche behaviour displayed in the species the author listed within the original article. The original article contained little information, so I think it is fair to say that this topic deals with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps. This is a topic that has been researched scientifically in nature, however there isn't much information published about this topic on Wikipedia. So by choosing to contribute to and update this article, the editor is addressing an underrepresented topic.

Tone and Balance

The topic chosen is a group behaviour exhibited by some species within nature, meaning that the topic is neutral. The content added supports this, as the information added is neutral and unbiased in anyway. It simply involves stating facts relating to the topic to help the readers understand and gain knowledge of this behaviour. There is some information found within the lead that I think is underrepresented, as the editor does not go into any more detail about it in further paragraphs. For example, within the lead the editor introduces how crèche behaviour may influence an organism's inclusive fitness but stops there. I think this could have been made into a sub-section, however this article is still in its beginning stages so it is okay. Besides this, all other information is represented fairly and in a neutral standpoint. The content added by the editor helps the reader gain knowledge about the crèche behaviour, without attempting to persuade them in favour of a certain position.

Sources and References

It seems some information added could have been backed up by a reference. Like the statistic found within the sub-section of "Crèche behaviour in Ediers, Somateria mollissima". The sentence begins with "studies have shown..." but there are not citations listed to reference these studies. I feel as though there could have been more references used in this article draft, for the amount of content that was added. Also, the third reference does not contain a link, so there was no article to refer to. However, all other references used are scholarly journal articles, so it is fair to say these sources contain reliable information. Upon referring to the citations, the content added by the editor does accurately reflect the information presented within each article. The sources are thorough and reflect available literature on the topic of crèche. The sources used are current, as after doing a slight bit of research, all relevant articles for this topic were published roughly within the same time as the articles that the editor used. The sources used were written by a diverse spectrum of authors, as they were all published by different scholars who conducted slightly different research about the crèche behaviour. I think the editor did an effective job at choosing the articles for the draft, as they were all scholarly articles that represent the topic well. Again, all sources besides the third provide an actual functioning link that brings the reader straight to the referenced article.

Organization

The content added is well written and easy for the reader to comprehend. It is clear that the editor had a plan before starting the draft, as the sub-sections added were well organized and did not contain any confusing or irrelevant information within them. There are a few minor grammatical errors, as the word defence is spelt "defense" multiple times throughout the article. This is just a slight error which can easily be fixed and does not interfere with how the information is presented within the article. The content is broken down into relevant sections that reflect understanding of the topic by the editor.

Images and Media

The article draft does include images that enhance the understanding of the topic. The original article does not contain any images, so it was a wise decision by the editor to add some within the draft. The images chosen are relevant to the major sections and are well captioned to help aid in the understanding of what exactly is being depicted in each image. Both images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations and are correctly cited; the source can be found by hovering the computer cursor over each image. The locations of each image are thought out and work well with the article draft, as they correspond to the topic of each subsection. For example, there is a picture of an eider duckling crèche corresponding to the eider section and an image of a lion crèche placed alongside the lion sub-section. These images help to enhance the overall visual appearance of the article.

Overall Impressions

The content added has most definitely improved the overall quality of the article to make it look more complete. The added content is very informative, providing examples to help readers understand exactly what crèche behaviour is and what species display it within nature. I think the addition of images helped the overall appearance of the article and will also help increase the readers knowledge of the topic being discussed. Overall, I think the editor made a substantial contribution to this article and did considerable research to help strengthen it. One way to improve this article would be to double check the references, making sure that all information added is cited and that all links to citations are functioning.