User:Cognitura/Gender inequality in Japan/FrozenFrosch Peer Review

General info
Cognitura
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Cognitura/Gender inequality in Japan
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Gender inequality in Japan

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, I think the article looks pretty solid thus far. I think you've done a great job of illustrating the changes you would like to make and giving options for which way you think you should edit them.

One thing that I think might be worth noting (and I'm unsure if this was your framing or the initial framing of the existing article), is that I think the Lead paragraph has a little bit of a Western bias; using framing like "even as a developed and modern society" right off the bat. While I don't know that it's meant to mean anything in this context, terms like "modern" or "developed" can oftentimes be used as more acceptable stand-ins for implying whether or not a people is "civilized" and has accepted the norms of the West. I don't think that this article is really trying to push that in any way. I don't know that the initial part of the lead-in is fully appropriate. Maybe something like "even in the modern era" would be better, cause it emphasizes the focus on the current time more so than western ideas of development.

I think all of the additions to family values, politics and education all look solid & there are a ton of references which is great!