User:Colemason19/Mining industry of Mali/EamonGaraGrady Peer Review

General info
I am reviewing Cole's (Colemason2019) draft for the "Mining Industry of Mali" page.

Here is the link to Cole's draft:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Colemason19/Mining_industry_of_Mali?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Here is the link to current version of article: Mining industry of Mali

Evaluation of the draft
Lead Section

Cole's lead section in his draft is very good. It is concise while still providing coverage of each of the main sections to come, and it highlights the disproportionate importance of gold in Mali's mining industry.

Content

Cole focused his expansion of content on the historical background of Malian gold mining, as well as the industry's impact on the Malian people, environment, and economy.

I found his additions to the "History" and "Impacts of Natural Resource Extraction" sections to be very interesting and valuable. In the history section, the discussion of how deep rooted gold mining is to Mali through highlighting the pre-colonial history of the Malian Empire and Emperor Mansa Musa I is excellent and helped me better appreciate the importance of this particular industry to the country. In the impacts of resource extraction section, Cole's multifaceted approach to evaluating effects of mining helps readers develop a wholistic perspective. In this section, he focuses heavily on how common Malian people are affected by the industry, which helps fill an equity gap.

Tone and Balance

Cole maintains a neutral tone in his writing throughout this draft. That said, in the impacts section, he seems to disproportionately emphasize the negative effects of the mining industry on the people and environment of Mali, while only briefly discussing the benefits of economic development brought about by the industry. While I do not doubt that research shows that there are more adverse than positive effects of the industry, the way in which these effects are presented, with the few positives being followed by a laundry list of negatives, makes it feel as though there might be a bias against the industry. I think this could be improved by restructuring the adverse effects to focus on those which are the most impactful and have the most evidence behind them.

Sources and References

Cole does well to draw from a wide variety of credible sources and includes many academic articles. He also makes sure to cite sources whenever making a potentially disputable claim.

Organization

Cole decided to begin with historical background before going into detail about the how the modern mining industry operates and the impacts gold mining in particular has had on the Malian people, environment, and economy. I like this structure since the history piece contextualizes everything that comes after it.

Images and Media

Cole added five images, all of which are publicly licensed, to the article in his draft.

The first is a map of where gold mining occurs in Mali (the southwestern region) and is an appropriate inclusion at the beginning of the article adjacent to the lead section. That said, the map itself is very small and a bit difficult to see.

The second is a drawing of Malian Emperor Mansa Musa holding a piece of gold, which is a good fit for the history section where Musa's wealth and focus on gold is highlighted.

The third and fourth are of heavy machinery at the Sadiola and Yatela mines respectively and are attached to the section discussing the practicalities of industrialized mining. These are helpful in improving the readers' understanding of industrialized mining.

The fifth and final image is of the impact on the land at the Patella mine and it accompanies the environmental repercussions subsection. While I think this is more than an appropriate choice, the image itself is very small and difficult to see.

Overall Impressions

Cole does a great job in this draft expanding public knowledge of the Malian gold mining industry. As mentioned above, I think the biggest spot for growth lies in restructuring the "Impacts of Natural Resource Extraction" section so that it reads as an impartial assessment of the industry rather than an indictment.