User:Collector786/Sarah E. Goode/Shimamikeneko Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Collector786


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Collector786/Sarah_E._Goode


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_E._Goode

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

It briefly summarizes who she is, and where she stands in the historical context. The module said something like "the lead section will have the longest article," but you overcome that by building your sections into smaller pieces. I like this style and you can keep it.

Content:

It is mainly added to the description of the invention and the background to its creation. This is on topic. Also, the addition of a section about her family make-up will help readers get to know her side as a person. Since the original article is all about her description as an inventor, I think I might give this section a little more emphasis. I like how you hints at the influence they had on her by mentioning that her family were also creators.

Tone and Balance:

You convey the neutrality of this article by bringing up a lot of data. You seem to be well aware of the effects that numbers have. By stating the date clearly, the reader can believe that this actually happened. The article is written with balance in mind. The passages conveyed your anger about the obstacles she had to face, but this is something that must be touched upon in order to know her, and I do not think that it will lose your neutrality.

Sources and References:

You have found a lot of material. They are formally listed and can be trusted. You cite them separately if you refer to different parts of the same material. I would like to know your intentions on this as this is a method I did not take.

Organization:

The writing is easy to read and no grammatical errors can be found. The chronological order makes it easy for readers to find what they are looking for. The fact that you wrote about her invention first is also a successful article structure.

Images and Media:

A nice drawing was added to give the reader an image of her life. This is a very good initiative. I know it is hard to find, but if you have a photo of her, it should be added to make her feel familiar to the reader.

Well done! Happy Editing!
= Peer Review Response: = Thank you for taking the time to peer review my work! I appreciate your thoughtful comments and perspective.

I was definitely interested in her family's influence on her invention interests! I am hoping to find more info on how they fit into her training and invention.

I wasn't completely sure about what levels of citation were necessary so decided to list specific pages. I'm not sure that Wikipedia requires that. I added them to my sources, though, to make the information more easy to confirm and so that I can easily go back to it as needed.

Thank you for noticing the drawing! I need to figure out how to make it bigger since it shrunk when I uploaded it, making it harder to see. I am hoping to add a photo of her. There is one specific photo that has been circulating around the internet, and I'm trying to find the original source so I can confirm that it's her. There was another photo of a white woman that articles had featured as Sarah E Goode, but it was someone else. I believe that this other photo is accurate but want to be certain!