User:CornBlast

CornBlast. That's right y'all. Corn. Blast. That's me. That's me right there. Corn to the Blast. CornBlast. C-o-r-n-B-l-a-s-t. I'm 7'8", I am a Kung Fu master, and I can drink ten whole Izzes in 43 seconds. NO JOKE. Who can do that? That's right. Me. CornBlast. Big Blast of Corn over here. Blastin Corn. CornBlast. Yeah. You got it. Say it with me. CornBlast! CornBlast! CornBlast!

Some people say I lie about that Izze thing. But I'm telling you. 43 seconds. 10 whole Izzes. CornBlast. Yeah! I'm CornBlast what are you? Nothing. You're nothing. I'm CornBlast. Tell me your name. Oh wait. You can't. This is CornBlast's page. Only I can tell you my name. So let CornBlast tell CornBlast your name. It's Irrelevant. Irrelevant J. Scrubbs. That's your name. My name is CornBlast. Yeah. That's damn right. You know it. I'm CornBlast. Straight up.

Have you ever blasted corn? I have. That's why they call me CornBlast. Blaster of All Corn. The Blasturmator. King of the CornBlasts and the First Corn. Ser CornBlastius.

I once maintained an erection for 13 days. You know who else did that? No one. I'm CornBlast. I did that.

I once ate a dog. With my teeth. And my mouth. You know who else did that? No one. No one did. Not even you. You know who did do that? CornBlast. Me. Mr. Blast. The Blastest Corner in the West. The Corniest Blaster in Star Wars. Corn. Blast. CornBlast.

-CornBlast