User:Cornyon/Underground Astronauts/Advythr Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cornyon


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cornyon/Underground_Astronauts?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Underground Astronauts

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall this draft is a great start! I have some grammatical suggestions, please see below. Changes are in bold-underline.

I do have specific feedback as follows.


 * Berger's methods did not go uncriticised, because of how he called for applicants via Facebook to investigate new hominin remains, his expedition was met with criticism regarding whether or not it was a serious and professional expedition.
 * This connection between Berger's methods for finding crew members and the criticism of the expedition is not explicitly made in the reference, so I suggest removing the first clause of the sentence.
 * This claim would benefit from additional references that discuss the criticism directly

Peer-review suggestions
The Underground Astronauts is the name given to a group of six scientists: Hannah Morris, Marina Elliott, Becca Peixotto, Alia Gurtov, K. Lindsay (then Eaves) Hunter, and Elen Feuerriegel, who excavated the bones of Homo naledi from the Dinaledi Chamber of the Rising Star cave system in Gauteng, South Africa. The six women were selected by the expedition leader, Lee Rogers Berger, who posted a  Facebook  message asking for scientists ''' with experience in paleontological excavations and caving, and who were thin.   Within  ten days of the posting, Berger  received ''' sixty applicants and chose the six scientists to make up his expedition team. Berger's methods did not go uncriticised, because of how he called for applicants via Facebook to investigate new hominin remains. ''' Some experts claimed the expedition was not serious and professional. '''

In November 2013, the National Geographic Society and the University of the Witwatersrand funded an expedition called  the  Rising Star Expedition for a twenty-one day excavation at the cave, followed by a second expedition in March 2014 for a 4-week excavation in the Dinaledi Chamber. The first expedition retrieved 1,550 pieces of bone belonging to at least fifteen individuals, found within 1 m2 of clay-rich sediments. Out of the fossil assemblage found, only twenty bones in the human anatomy were not found in the assortment.

The six scientist s  had to pass through three points of difficult terrain in the cave to reach the bone chamber.  O ne  is  referred to as 'Superman's Crawl', which required one arm held forward to pass, like in Superman's flight.  Next,  the scientists had to climb vertically up a rock surface known as the 'Dragon's back', and then finally pass through an opening that was only 18 cm wide, descending thirty meters into the chamber. Because of the difficulty of their expedition and their exploration into the Dinaledi Chamber, the six women were given the name: the Underground Astronauts (See citation on article).