User:Cornyon/Walking/Acont061 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cornyon


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cornyon/Walking?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Walking

Evaluate the drafted changes
A small thing to note, but I think there are some formatting issues with the user's bibliography. When clicking on the link, there is a numbered list, and the works cited are at the bottom.

When considering the user's Sandbox Draft, I am quite impressed at the extent of research they have conducted in order to elaborate on the original article. When reading over their draft, it becomes evident that it is well-researched. In addition, the information presented is neutral, and the user does not insert themselves within the narrative. One thing to be careful of when writing neutral pieces of information is to avoid using adverbs. Adverbs are commonly used to accentuate another word. Some examples include delightfully, interestingly, nicely, etc. This is an easy fix, and I do not think the user will have trouble correcting this small error. In addition, there are a couple instances in the user's draft that has sentences or sections sectioned off my brackets ([]). I am not sure if this is a stylistic choice, or a formatting error on Wiki's end. I would recommend the user go through and address these instances -- perhaps finding another way to integrate this isolated information into the body of their articles.

Other than that, I think this draft is very well written and requires little to no further editing. Well done.