User:CourteneyD1999/Savaging/Wormygal Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

CourtneyD1999


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CourteneyD1999/Savaging?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Savaging

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead of the article is well balanced and the introductory sentence is concise and gives a great definition of the topic. The genetic component of Savaging was not discussed in the lead, and could be incorporated to give a better overview of the articles main sections. The definition of the gilt and sow makes the lead more understandable to the reader and is a great addition.

The first sentence in the Environmental Factors paragraph of the draft is awkward and should be reworded. A suggestion is, "Multiple environmental factors exist that increase the rate of savaging by pigs." The sentence regarding access to materials could be reworded to flow better. A suggestion is, "Access to materials, including higher quality materials such as straw decreased the amount of negative communication between sows and piglets. " There is a spelling mistake in the draft of the word "during" in the sentence about gestation in commercial pens. There are two sentences from the original article that have been copied over to the draft without the references, references should be copied over to the sandbox to avoid accidental plagiarism.

The word parity should be defined to give the reader a better understanding of the factor. Parity could be in a separate category than Environmental Factors, such as Individual Factors which has been suggested in the draft. Parity can be one of the Individual Factors and it can be expanded upon to include more existing factors or other future factors which relate to the topic.

In the Preventative Measures paragraph, the sentence is missing the word "it" and should read, "...indicating that it would be beneficial to raise pigs in a free-roaming environment, but further research is needed to indicate if this would be economically feasible. "

The content added in the draft is relevant and provides useful information to the reader about the topic. The article is well balanced and shows a neutral point of view. The article does not have a clear point of view and does not try to persuade the reader in any way. The article overall has good organization and the order of the paragraphs makes sense.

The references used in the article are recent, peer-reviewed and are published by reliable journals. The information provided through the references is accurate and the reference links work. There is an issue in the first reference in the draft with a potential error regarding the "date value", as shown in red in the reference section.

Overall, the article has been improved by adding more references and pertinent information. The article is more complete and provides a solid overview of the current information for topic of Savaging. The draft needs some small revisions for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but the order of paragraphs and information provided is good.