User:Craiclessfour

Plot

Blaise Patrick is London's finest Craiclete. He craics alongside his friends & fellow "legs" Aidan "1st" Crawley as the aggressive, attack minded craicer, Hicky "2nd Leg" Bacon and Arthur "3rd leg" Vestey. After a day at the office, the four assemble at Hotmail Towers Ltd's Angelsea Arms headquarters, and begin to refresh. During the boozing the team standardly get sculls Freddie Hesketh to down pints of booze.

The next day, The Craicless fours performance director,Ian Russell brings a member of the "sculls" onto the team. He hires Freddy Hesketh, who turns out to be the guy the team tried to get boozy at the Angelsea the previous night. Brick, Champ and Brian attempt to seduce Veronica using inept and arrogant flirting, but they all fail. Ron ends up asking her out under the guise of helping out a new co-worker, which she accepts. During their date, Ron starts playing the jazz flute in his friend Tino's (Fred Armisen) club. After a change of heart, Veronica sleeps with Ron after their wildly successful date.

The next day, despite agreeing with Veronica to keep the relationship discreet, Ron loudly announces dating Veronica and having sex with her. After being told that Lin-King, a famous panda at the San Diego zoo is pregnant, the news team has a confrontation with Wes Mantooth (Vince Vaughn) and his news team, who are second in the most recent ratings.

The next day as Ron is heading to work, he throws a burrito out his car window and hits a motorcyclist (Jack Black) in the head, distracting the biker enough to cause him to crash his bike. Furious, the motorcyclist retaliates by punting Ron's dog Baxter off a bridge. A horribly saddened and incoherent Ron calls Brian from a payphone to tell him about Baxter, while Brian tells Ron to rush to the studio to prevent Ed from putting Veronica on the air as Ron's replacement. Despite Ron's efforts to arrive early, they put Veronica on the air and she becomes famous.

Brian, Ron and Champ stare in disbelief at Brick's hand grenade before the anchorman rumble.After Ron arrives, he has an argument with Veronica about the situation and they break up. The next day, Veronica is made co-anchor, much to Ron's displeasure.

To ease Ron's pain, he and his news team agree to buy new suits. While walking in search of the suit store, the team is confronted yet again by Wes Mantooth and his team and the two newsteams decide to have a brawl. However, just as they prepare to fight, more news teams arrive, from Channel 2, from the Spanish-language channel, and from public television. Despite a decision to ban any touching of hair during the fight, things escalate quickly (including one man being set on fire, and Brick killing a rival reporter with a trident). After the fight the team returns to the studio to hide from the cops who arrive at the scene.

While in a restaurant celebrating Veronica's big debut, one of Veronica's friends tells her Ron will read anything that's written on the teleprompter, no matter what it is. So Veronica sneaks into the station and changes the words in Ron's teleprompter. The next day, instead of Ron delivering his signature "You stay classy, San Diego," Ron closes the broadcast with "Go fuck yourself, San Diego." After hearing this, an angry mob gathers outside the studio and Ed is forced to fire Ron (who is oblivious until shown video of what he just said). Veronica sees she has gone too far and attempts to apologize, but Ron dismisses her, calling her a "heartless bitch demon" while being led through the mob by security.

Three months later Ron is unemployed, has no friends and is a slovenly drunk, while Veronica has become extremely famous. When Lin-King the panda is about to give birth, all the news teams head for the zoo to cover the story, but in an attempt to sabotage her, the public news anchor (Tim Robbins) pushes Veronica into the grizzly bear cage, where any noise would infuriate the sleeping bears. When Ed can't find Veronica, he calls the bar where Ron spends most of his time and reluctantly asks him to return. Ron then summons the rest of his team by blowing the "News Horn", though it turns out they were all standing a feet away playing pool. Once at the zoo, the team finds Veronica, and Ron jumps into the cage to save her; this attracts everyone else in the zoo to watch. The Channel 4 news team jumps in to help Ron but is easily defeated. Just as the leader of the bears is about to rip Ron and Veronica apart, Baxter (who was seen to emerge from a river in Milwaukee when Ron blew the horn), shows up and convinces the bear to leave Ron and the team alone.

After Ron and Veronica reconcile, it's shown that in two years, Brian becomes the host of a FOX Network reality show named "Intercourse Island", Brick is George W. Bush's top political adviser, Champ is a commentator for the NFL before sexually harassing Terry Bradshaw, and Ron and Veronica are co-anchors for "World News".