User:CraigLavery



Once apon a time, Jackie and Sharon Lavery got just a wee bit frisky yano, and well long story short, the second Messiah was produced.

Craig Lavery is known to be the hardest man EVER and especially in South East Glenvarna (even though he does actually live in Ballyhenry.. but thats just the sort of shit he does.)

Contrary to popular belief, Craig Lavery was actually the first man to step foot on the moon, approx 20 years before he was even born. cause thats just how he rolls, niggaaa.

Mr Lavery has a good job with alot going for him. In a typical year he turns over about 3 billion pounds He has won mr Northern Ireland 6 years in a row now and first lost his virginity aged 7 with peta 23 from Essex

Under the Good Wednesday Agrement Craig Lavery, was realised from Maghaberry for just being harder than everybody else.

He also once bit the head clean aff a live fish and spat its bloody head back into the ocean.

in 2009 craig lavery was asked by an american journalist why he brutaly murderd 1056 armed FBI agents he famously replied '' i like green skittles, in my opinion there the nicest

Life Story So Far
poet, rapper, bucker

At the age of 15, Lavery began plastering, but lets be honest he was just to cool for that so he stopped that so he did and now applies his trade in Rabipak, packing onions and all sorts of other ill shit!

Fucking career
Craig Lavery has so far has sex with 9 different girls. Which broke the World Record for how many girls Craig Lavery has bucked.

Music career
lavery topped the charts in 2009 with The Matty Johnston Song. the single sold over just 100 billion copies, and is still enjoyed my many people today ,

his second song came in 2011 when he released a diss song, slabbering about SketchNine. It's Belfast Mate (Piss Take)

Assassination Attempts
In 1994, just 4 years after Craig was born. Craig Lavery was on the gat patrol in Glenvarna on his brand new green go-kart .When a Blue Fiat Punto rolled up, filled with gang bangers from Sherwood, they opened fire upon him.Craig quickly took cover behind his green go-kart. He fired 5 shots back, killing all 7 members of the gang. It just happened to be double xp weekend, so craig ranked up to prestige level 16. Again, in 1998 the Taliban fired a RPG directly at Craigs head, he escaped his attack with a minor cut on his knee and a new hair style.

In retaliation to the attempts on his life, Craig Lavery hijacked one of them there swan pedalow thingys from Bangor of a 9 year old girl, he then pedalled all the way to Afghanistan and single handedly wiped the Taliban of the face of the Earth and then went home for a foot long italian bmt on honey oat bread with lettuce, red onions and south west sauce.