User:Crepting/The Employees/Agt3j Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Crepting, Matakeva, and Jsheets367.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Crepting/The_Employees?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * The Employees

Evaluate the drafted changes
The Lead is clear and concise, but it lacks a brief description of the Allegory and Themes, Inspiration, and Critical Reception sections.

In the Six-Thousand Ship sub-section, the word “strange” should be removed from sentences four and five. Unless the source called the objects strange, the use of an adjective seems partisan. Also, “mirroring the novel’s inspiration: a 2018 art installation by Lea Guldditte Hestelund” should be removed because there is an Inspiration section that addresses that aspect. “Throughout the book” should be removed from the Technology sub-section because it is redundant.

The article's content is informative, and there are no claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position, although specific interpretations are included in the Allegory and Themes section. In the Transhumanism sub-section, remove the quotations around add-ons. If that term is from the book, then quotations are unnecessary. This applies for the word in all sections. In the Senses sub-section, remove or change “disturbingly” and “in a manner that invokes trypophobia” from the second-to-last sentence. In the Inspiration section, “in fact” should be removed from the third sentence. Unless direct quotes are allowed on Wikipedia, the last sentence of the Inspiration sentence should end with “of a paraphrasing of a quote from Barbara Kruger.” The same notion applies to the Critical Reception section.

All facts in the article are backed up by a source, but three of the sources (7, 8, 10) are primary sources. There are ten sources cited, and the citation information is complete except for the third source which does not have a working link.

Overall, the article is well-written, but the Eggs and Parenting sub-section could be more clearly written, and there are a few grammatical errors throughout the article.

The article is well-organized and reflects the major/interesting points of the novel.

The article does not include any images, but may benefit from one.

There is no info box, but the addition of an info box would improve the article.