User:Crmaurik/Derek Walcott/NadiaCarneiro1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Crmaurik/Derek Walcott


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Crmaurik/Derek Walcott
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Derek Walcott

Evaluate the drafted changes
Before I continue on with this peer review, I have to say that it doesn't look complete. I hope that I can provide useful information anyways.

In terms of the lead, it hasn't been updated yet. Looking at the original page, I would say that the information about all of Derek's received awards should be taken out from that paragraph. Later on in the page, there is already a section on "Awards and honours." The information doesn't have to be repeated, especially since it is not the most important information to know. The topic sentence looks precise and clean already. The lead goes into too much detail about awards and it takes up space where more important topics should be discussed. When making edits, try to include more of a variety of information on Derek Walcott in the lead and mention "Pantomime."

In the draft, I can see that a summary of "Pantomime" has been added. In addition, I can see that a more detailed description of each act of the play is starting to be created. A "Characters" heading has been created too. I think this is great because readers get a more in depth understanding of the story and the characters. It is a confusing play with many different concepts to dig into (racism, acceptance, understanding, comedy, etc.). On the original Derek Walcott page, there is only a brief mention of "Pantomime." Therefore, I think that your in depth descriptions will benefit readers.

The additions in the draft keep a neutral tone. Make sure to keep that tone consistent throughout the entirety of the article because a wikipedia page shouldn't be solely opinion based. It is to enlighten people on new facts and they can do/think what they will with the information after they read it.

In terms of sources, there are none that are linked. I suggest that if you are getting information from another source, credit it (even if it is just the draft). Not only for anyone reading your article, but the group as a whole as well. You all can check each other's work and make sure the sources are credible. If the sources aren't credible, the information is useless. Also, you can ask other group members to double check your work if you think that you have plagiarized.

Organization wise, it looks like your group is on the right track. I noticed on the original page that the "Personal Life" heading and the "Early Life and Childhood" headings are far away from each other. When the group is reorganizing, I suggest moving them closer together. The information will flow so much better. It is a natural progression to go from childhood to adult life.

There are no images yet, but I am sure some will be added later into the process. Good luck to all of you!