User:Csanherz/Body dysmorphic disorder/Lridley097 Peer Review

General info
Csanherz (provide username)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Csanherz/Body_dysmorphic_disorder#cite_note-Phillips-2004-4


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Positives- you added some excellent and needed information that filled in some gaps from the original article, and gave some perspective of BPD and its relation to other disorders. I may suggest putting in some numbers that would specify some of the information. Ex. what is the comorbidity rate for BPD and Social Anxiety Disorder? I liked you addition under Self Improvement. Your additions retained good neutrality.

Minor edits- under diagnosis- "in which people are" (instead of is).

Certain wording is a little awkward -under diagnosis- "BPD is under the classification of somatoform", could be BPD is classified as a somatoform disorder".

"it is important to treat people suffering from BPD as soon as possible". Additionally this sentence is a bit of a run-on and could use some revision. A more detailed and/or specific reason to the importance of the treatment of BPD would make this sentence stronger. "because the person may have been suffering for a long time and BPD has a high suicide rate" is valid, but seems to be lacking in a causal or correlational explanation, or to put it better, a more thorough why. For example, "It is important to treat x as soon as possible because earlier treatment is associated with better long-term recovery and lower relapse into previous habits. Additionally, people with X are at a high risk for self-injurious behavior and suicide"." If my suggestion doesn't make any sense, I apologize.

Under signs and symptoms, "Many people" is a bit informal. Drawing a distinction between what is classified as "normal" and what constitutes a DSM diagnosis of BPD may be stronger here. That is, what sets apart a normal dislike of a part of someone's appearance and the maladaptive and significant distress of BPD? The original article discusses this some. Additionally, the first half of the sentence starting with "many people" may be a bit too close to the sentence of the abstract to the article you cited at http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy3.lhl.uab.edu/10.1016/j.bodyim.2007.12.002. The second half ("but individuals who suffer") looks original, and is a good summation, however "go to the extreme" could maybe be worded more academically. The sentence about BPD and SAD is good information, but the structure of the sentence is very similar to the one in the abstract from https://www-sciencedirect-com.ezproxy3.lhl.uab.edu/science/article/pii/S0272735810001285?via%3Dihub. This is something to at least consider and be careful about. There is some detailed descriptions of the etiology of BPD in https://www-clinicalkey-com.ezproxy3.lhl.uab.edu/#!/content/playContent/1-s2.0-S0193953X14000513?returnurl=https:%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0193953X14000513%3Fshowall%3Dtrue&referrer=. Some of it may be too specific for a wikipedia article, but it may be worth looking into to add in the causal factors.

All your references linked to an article. The last one takes a few steps to get to. It may be important to consider that I can get to the articles because of access through UAB, but other readers may have more difficulty.

Finally, as you stated in your evaluation of the original, the original article has some awkward and informal wording that could be improved. E.g. "some half of" under signs and symptoms.

Nice job, and good luck. Lridley097 (talk) 15:39, 28 February 2021 (UTC)Lauren