User:Cschof5410/Hemiscorpius lepturus/Fzhan2203 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cschof5410


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cschof5410/Hemiscorpius_lepturus?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Does not exist

Evaluate the drafted changes
Peer review of Hemiscorpius lepturus

Lead


 * When done with article, add summary sentences for the major sections in the article body.
 * This section should provide an insight to the reader about the article as a whole so they get a general idea before even reading.
 * Any information in this section should also be explained in deeper detail in the body section.
 * Need to add in-text citations and cite the references for any fact that is not general knowledge.

Article Body


 * In the description section-->
 * Describe more about the uses of trichobothria and how they help the species survive --> same with "lateral ocelli, moveable cheliceral finger with internal/external teeth, and hemispermatophores with double lamellar hook" --> also add more about the size of the organisms as in how long or wide if applicable
 * When talking about the distinctions about the males vs females, try to look for more references and make that into a section of it's own if possible
 * In the taxonomy -->
 * Maybe after stating the kingdom, phylum, class/order etc, include a sentence about the major characteristics of each organization level, for instance for the Chelicerata sub-phylum, maybe say that the sea spiders and horseshoe crabs are part of this classification etc. Just something interesting about the lesser known classifications for the readers to get an idea since they probably have never seen the word before.
 * Add in-text citations and cite the references for any fact that is not general knowledge.
 * In the venom section -->
 * Describe dermonecrotic scorpionism in simple terms that a highschooler or someone unfamiliar with the topic would understand it (whole article should be more like this) --> maybe try to find instances where people have been infected with this venom and hospitalized or died from it --> since you talked about this venom being studied in the "lead" section, make sure to talk about that in this venom section as well, what does the studies of this venom describe about this species?
 * Possible additional sections to add: Habitat, reproduction, life span, preys and predators it has, diet, anatomy- external/internal, mating behavior/preferences, distinct characteristics
 * Few typos need to be addressed

References


 * Need to have references with links if applicable in APA format
 * Since its a new article, it needs to have reliable sources that are peer reviewed
 * Avoid random websites or uncredited websites and focus more on journals and studies

Overall, it has a great foundation, just needs to add a few more sections and add in-text citations and references. The tone is neutral and the beginning structure is organized and easy to follow. The article should also be "balanced", i.e. the more important sections or sections with more studies and research done should be longer than the less important sections that have less research done. Try to use vocabulary that can be easily understood by new readers to the topic and if a term is more complex or lesser known, it should be linked to another wiki article or include a sentence describing the term afterwards.

Peer reviewed by Frank Zhan