User:Csuftitan2021/Media and gender/Mandypandaa Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Csuftitan2021


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Csuftitan2021/Media_and_gender?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Media and gender

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hello Csuftitan2021!

Lead

It seems that you are adding into a sub-section of your article, so no lead is necessary. However, how you introduce your topic in your first sentence is concise and easy to understand what you will be speaking on.

Content

The content within your article is very relevant to your topic of Media and Gender. You have great understanding on keeping your article strong and informative without sounding too wordy or overlapping topics. The content you decided to add in definitely helps your article flow into where you would insert it into the wikipedia article. Your connection between your topic, use of movies, and studies make this a well-informed article that a reader can learn from.

Tone and Balance

Using the study from 2016 is great, however it has a great difference from the movie you provided from 1994. Your use of the Netflix series You is a great use of modern comparisons. Perhaps adding another movie or such will have greater relativity, otherwise the way you describe the relevance of the movie you used to your topic is well thought. For tone, it is a very good neutral and informative article. There are no heavy biases.

Sources and References

One major issue I saw in this section was the lack of a link to your source of the study from 2016. On my screen, there was no footnote or hyperlink to a source page.

Organization

I feel the organization of your paper is well thought out, however maybe adding two more sentences to connect topics within your article to help with it's flow will curate just more fluidity in the way the article continues. Otherwise, your connections are clear and move within your writing.

Images and Media

There are no images or media within this article.

Overall Impressions

Overall, this article falls in line into what we have learned over this course of the semester with the wikipedia training. The article kept me focused on your specific take on the broad topic of media and gender, without skewing to one side or the other. You take great use of the support to your topics. Just for some grammar corrections, in your second sentence, "Film" should be plural. Otherwise, this is a concise and good article addition to the existing wikipedia page.

-Amanda