User:Culbert3002/Polar Bear Pass National Wildlife Area/Maggiecross13 Peer Review

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 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Total Peer Review Score: 11/12

Throughout the article I noticed that all of the facts stated had one, or even two citations attached to them, this is great! I also really enjoyed the details that were provided when explaining a point to further develop the idea, for example: "The valley floor itself contains comprehensive wetlands. These include seasonal rivers, streams, ponds and marshes, but also permanent freshwater lakes, ponds, marshes and swamps.[1] The inland wetlands also include tundra wetlands and peatlands.[1] On the coast, intertidal mud, sand and salt flats as well as rocky marine shores are considered wetlands."  (2/2)

After reading this article, I have learned lots about the Polar Bear Pass Nat'l Wildlife Area. Throughout the article, I learned about the wildlife, and endangered species that inhibit Polar Bear Pass, the seasonal temperatures, some facts about the people and culture of the area, as well as the current management surrounding preserving the park. (1/1)

The article meets the goal of addressing the following five topics: Information about what species can be found in the protected area (1), information about any species that are endemic (2), identification of any species at risk in the protected area, and information about their population trends, if available (3), information about First Nations whose traditional and ancestral territory/ies are included in the protected area (4), whether First Nations are currently included in management decision making processes for the protected area, and either way, what their priorities are for the management of and access to the area (5). (1/1)

In terms of adding any more content, I think that this group has covered its bases and has done well in talking about a wide range of topics. As a suggestion, I would like to see if there is any more information about the wildlife in the area and if there are any species (plants or animals) seeing a decline in populations as a consequence of climate change, as it is something that is very often talked about nowadays and is a key part of providing context for talking about the future of an ecosystem. (0.5/1)

In terms of what I would suggest the group to work on in editing for the final draft of the article, I would suggest that they continue to ensure that their sentence structure and content is run through with a "fine-tooth comb"; such as making sure there is not too much of repeating of facts. For example, the sentence stating that the Polar Bear Pass is on Bathurst Island and is in the Qikiqtaaluk Region of Nunavut was reiterated quite a few times, *I realize this is a bit nit-picky but just thought that I would point this out as it was a bit distracting*. I would also suggest to the group that they watch out for contradicting sentences that may confuse/distract the reader. Ex: "The amount of snowfall is often low, and the majority of the yearly precipitation comes as rain. Due to the sparse precipitation, Bathurst Island has..." - This is a bit confusing as it initially suggests that the majority of the precipitation in Polar Bear Pass is rain, but later is mentioned that there is little precipitation; leaving me asking myself "which is it? Is there no rain or lots of rain?". Small edits such as these just to make the statement more clear would absolutely go a long way here.(0.5/1)

The structure and layout of the article was well organized; I found that the topics flowed well between each other and was easy to follow. (1/1)

The tone of the article is neutral and informative. I feel as though sharing information about a wildlife area can't really have much of a bias to it, but if there was one to be had, I did not notice that there was one in this article. (1/1)

As mentioned earlier, this group has done a very good job in having lots of sources to back up their statements, with many of them being from reliable figures such as the Government of Canada sites or wildlife protection organizations. (1/1)

This article has found great balance within each of the topics that were covered. The majority of the points made in the article are provided with enough detail to make the reader understand what is going on, but not too many to the point of where you are found reading about an irrelevant idea in order to make an idea clear. (1/1)

Given that this article is about a wildlife conservation area, there isn't much equity and inclusion to be written about; although the paragraph outlining the Indigenous Peoples' roles in preserving the park was greatly insightful and added a secondary viewpoint to how the park is used in both the past and present. (1/1)

The writing is executed in all of the above, it is written in a civil, kind, and helpful tone. (1/1)