User:Culture custodian/sandbox/Battle of Bouaké (A Song of Tears and Sorrow)

Battle of Bouaké (a song of tears and sorrow) refers to the famous rout recorded by Nigeria over South Africa, on February 7, 2024. The venue was the ironically named “Stadium of Peace” located in the eponymous city of Bouaké in Central Ivory Coast. The irony stems from the fact that this battle was anything but peaceful. This was a one-sided demolition of an inferior but rather pompous opponent.

Background
The necessity for this battle came about when South Africans chose to deny Nigerians their rightful credit for the global evangelization of the Amapiano music genre. Luminaries such as Asake, Davido, Burna Boy, and many more, were being written out of the history books in real time. In order to address this gross display of disrespect, two contests were organized with neutral arbiters.

First Leg
The first leg of this contest was slated for the 66th Annual Grammy Awards, where Tyla, Asake, Davido, Olamide and Burna Boy were all nominated for the laughably-named category “Best African Music Performance” (because which one come be ‘African’ music again?). In a stunning upset, Tyla carried the award, securing a vital one-goal lead for the South Africans, heading into the second leg.

Second Leg
Bouaké was selected as the venue for the second leg, during the 34th edition of the African Cup of Nations. This was the same tournament, where South Africa ‘fluked’ their way to its singular title, in the absence of the imperious Super Eagles side of the nineties. Amends were quickly made as the likes of Victor Osimhen, Ademola Lookman and Moses Simon showed the South Africans that water had indeed exceeded the oceanic constraints of garri. The Super Eagles coach, Joe Peseiro (“Oga Joe”) deployed his trusted strategy of “no gree for anybody”. In summary, my people, it was a bloody day. If to say referee no quick blow whistle, a ba na won shege si e lara; Bathong!

Aftermath
In the aftermath of such a decisive and uncompromising victory, Nigeria was immediately and retroactively recognized as the inventor and controlling stakeholder of Amapiano. This adds to the rich tapestry of other melodic genres that have emanated from the shores of this great country, situated on the Atlantic coast. Genres such as afrobeats, fuji, kalangu music, ogene and so many more, continue to entrench Nigeria’s place as the cradle of musical sability. Similar to the Rains of Castamere, ballads will be sung by future generations of Nigerians, paying homage to the day we visited tears and sorrows on cousins who didn't know how to say thank you.