User:DLEE83/Bilingual education by country or region/Bcaillouet25 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) DLEE83


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:DLEE83/Bilingual education by country or region
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Bilingual education by country or region
 * Bilingual education by country or region

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall Impressions
 * The section conveys clearly why bilingual efforts need to be made in Japan, but the article is just supposed to be describing how bilingualism is introduced or maintained in educational systems around the world.
 * the content does help flesh out the overall article
 * Article did well in beefing up the section on Japan. Peer added quality information with the sources used.
 * Mentioned below I would add back the information on Korean being taught in Japan currently. Currently the edits make it seem as if there are no bilingual efforts being made in Japan.
 * I would work on the tone of the article. It is leaning towards trying to sway the reader to the benefits of bilingualism.
 * I will make sure in my own article to be mindful of the tone and not try to be too persuasive in the manner of my writings.
 * Overall this was a great start to editing this article.

Lead


 * peer is updating a subsection of the article. Peer isn't touching this section, but maybe it could do with another sentence or two introducing the topics of this page.

Content


 * Yes the content added is relevant to the topic
 * Yes it is up to date content. Sources from within the past 5 years.
 * Peer did a complete overhaul of the section on Japan. I would add back the section about Korean being the largest non-Japanese minority and the efforts to teach Korean in Japan.
 * This section was noted by Wikipedia that it needs verified sources. Peer did an excellent job adding verified sources.

Tone & Balance


 * Content that was added is neutral.
 * Yes the section about the need for bilingual education quotes from pieces we read in class has a bias towards favoring bilingualism. This could be reworded not to try to sway the reader one way or another. Just to disseminate the facts.
 * The use of pronouns makes it a little hard to understand what the peer is referencing. In this instance I would use the corresponding nouns. "Japan now has an evolutional policy change that will set them committed to assertiveness and visibility of the minority groups' education under their monolingual state strategy of making their language mandatory in their public schools." This section makes it a little hard to follow what is being referenced.
 * Yes it tries to sway the reader about the benefits of bilingualism.

Sources & References


 * Yes peer used sources to back up newly added information.
 * Yes peer used the sources correctly
 * Yes the sources are thorough
 * Yes sources are current
 * Sources are a spectrum of authors.
 * Sources are peer-reviewed
 * Links do work

Organization


 * content added is well-written, concise and easy to read
 * no grammatical errors/spelling errors
 * the content added is well-organized