User:Daalexandram/The Devil Wears Prada (film)/Barnanimall Peer Review

General info
(provide username)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Daalexandram/The Devil Wears Prada (film)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * 1) First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?
 * 2) What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * 3) What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
 * 4) Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!

I found that your writing in this sandbox added greatly to the overall wikipedia article. It touched on some of the problems that the fashion culture is known for and connected how media portrays widespread values. I appreciate how the paragraphs are broken up, it makes sense and they're kept at a good length. I think it would be useful to put a header for your work to contextualize it within the rest of the wikipedia article. Wikipedia users and readers love headers. But your overall writing relates to our class and adds to the fan-favorite movie.

I really liked your scene breakdowns. They give context of the movie and why they are relevant. To add on to that, your article is a good balance between general discourse on society and expectations of women and beauty standards and how the movie shows them. I like how you switch between the two. It creates a nice flow.

I found that because, your article added a lot of critiques on the Devil Wears Prada, it sounds negative and does not produce a neutral tone. The paragraphs in your sandbox might not be meant to go all together but I think it could be useful to spread them out or find a way to turn them more neutral. I do not mean to say to get rid of any of your ideas because they are important in the conversation of the Devil Wears Prada.

The last two paragraphs are nice because they shift the focus from Andy to Miranda. They are missing some citations from the New York Times, Pew Research and then also the second to last sentence where you refer to "studies". I would add those if they are not already cited in the original article. This is specific but I would remove "ideas about" from the second to last paragraph's starting sentence: "The Devil Wears Prada is a movie packed with ideas about women in positions of power." because the movie is packed with women in positions of power. I think this will make your writing clearer.

I think the most important thing is to add a header(s) to give your work a title so it is easier for the reader to understand. I also think it is important to cite those references I mentioned above to give yourself some more credibility.

After reading your article, I want to incorporate more examples into my own wikipedia article. I am inspired by your flow and I think it could be helpful in my article to contextualize how it relates to everyday life.