User:Daboom148/Croesus/IvanTheVegan Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Daboom148


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Daboom148/Croesus/IvanTheVegan_Peer_Review?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_peer_review


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Croesus

Evaluate the drafted changes
Praises:


 * I like the use of course texts as something you are using for the article; reliable and scholarly
 * I like that you are also looking for unnecessary text as well as including new text to make statements clear and less vague (ex. second change you made)
 * I love the inclusion of Croesus' connection to Cyrus' death. It both highlights the historical relevancy of Croesus as well as a major part of his life Critique: I would recommend looking for more primary sources if possible. Finding documents or inforamtion not already used in the article would be ideal, but so far a good start to making a piece clearer while also adding new information.