User:Daddy crumpet

Jeff Jefferson and the escape of the rape                                                                                     from Daddy Crumpet

Jeff was a humble man. He brushed his teeth every night and on a Saturday he’d fry up a nice batch of baby burgers and feed them to the neighbours. The neighbours were goats. One day Jeff Jefferson was prowling around the street looking for chocolate wrappers so he could finish his mars bar pants. When he heard the neighbours bleat, Jeff laughed “Those crazy neighbours, always partying”. Suddenly Jeff fell down the drain on to a rainbow. Bouncing off the rainbow sending him hurtling towards the core of the earth. Jeff fell for hours before slapping into the core. It was hard and it hurt. Fortunately, Jeff had a bathtub in his pocket. He ripped it out and slapped the core of the earth disintegrating it. The earth lost its gravity and everyone on earth floated up into the sky and suffocated in space. With the core gone, a black hole appeared and spat out an apple house. “Just another day at the office” said Jeff Jefferson. Jeff pulled a nuke out of his pocket and threw it at the giant apple with doors. The giant apple house was gone. All that was left was a treasure chest made out of bubblegum. “Well eat my toes and call me crumpet”. “Make that Daddy Crumpet” said a muffled voice from inside the bubblegum chest. The chest oozed into a blob before turning into the shape of a human. It was Daddy Crumpet with lipstick smeared on his face. “Come give Daddy Crumpet a kiss then” he said in a cockney British accent. Jeff Jefferson was shocked. What would his parents think if they found he ate three’s? Daddy Crumpet took off his clothes. “Daddy Crumpet’s gonna butter up your muffins good”. Jeff Jefferson shat his pants. It thumped to the ground like an anvil falling from the sky. That reminded Jeff Jefferson of his home planet that was conveniently placed in his right pocket. Its name was Planet Jeff. Jeff Jefferson quickly whipped Planet Jeff out of his pocket and jumped on it, he was safe. And that’s the story of how Jeff Jefferson escaped the rape from Daddy Crumpet.