User:Daixue1998/Jin River (Sichuan)/Ltyeunh12 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Daixue1998


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Daixue1998/Jin River (Sichuan)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jin River (Sichuan)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think a lot of the information in the lead could be moved to another section, like the geography part, or trimmed down a bit. It is a little too much for an introduction.

I see you are planning to add a map to the geography section, this would help a ton as some of the locations the river flows through is a little hard to visualize through words. I think that some of the information on the other rivers could be cut down a little bit, as it is not specifically the Jin river. This information could be maybe put into another article about the overall Jin river watershed. Some of the more historical details on the canals in the geography sections should probably be moved to the history section.

Perhaps for the naming section, the different names for the rivers could be blocked out into a list with dates, as reading through the list of names gets a little confusing. This can then be supported by the other details in the paragraph.

In the history section you say Chengdu was a consumer based city "before liberation". Its unclear what you mean by liberation.

It would be nice to have some more information, maybe in its own section, about what specifically the environmental improvements made on the river were. Did they redirect wastewater? Dredge trash from the bottom? Rehabilitate bank habitat?

Is there any information on the Jin river in the modern day? Just curious if there is any cultural significance today or if it is a major water source for people.

Most of your sources look like they are from published journal articles, though some seem to be from websites which may or may not be as reliable. There are a good amount of sources.

Overall the article reads neutrally, and I cannot think of any viewpoints that have been left out. I enjoyed learning about the history of the river changing as populations around it did, as well as about changing water levels and its impact on commercial navigation. Hearing about the bridge that got washed away and seeing the photo of the new one was cool too. Your article gives a lot of excellent detail and context of the river's geography and history the original article does not. I think with a little polishing it will be great!