User:Daixue1998/Jin River (Sichuan)/Nextians Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Daixue1998, R.Williamson3, Zhengyizhilu


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Daixue1998/Jin River (Sichuan)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jin River (Sichuan)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead section has been extensively updated compared to the original article (I'm assuming the first paragraph is meant to be the lead and not part of the body). There's a lot of good information, however it feels a little to detailed. You could probably move some of the information on the course to the geography section. The introductory sentence is concise and gives a good intro into what the article is about.

Content

The content you added all seems relevant and up to date. Some sections on the ecology or current uses of the river might be good to add.

Tone and Balance

I think you guys did a good job of keeping your writing neutral and don't try to make any persuasive arguments.

Sources and References

It's a little difficult for me to assess your sources since as far as I can tell they are all in Chinese. The ones I checked seem to work, but I wasn't able to access anything beyond abstracts, and I had to use google translate to read those. Also the commercial navigation section looks like its missing some references.

Organization

I found the sections were you talk about the different tributaries a little confusing to follow. There were a lot of different names and without being familiar with the area its easy to get lost. The map your planning to put in will likely help with that but you may want to be more clear in that section. There were also a couple of ideas that you may want to expand to make more clear: what do you mean by "the earliest dam project" and "pollution which in the past has led to the river choking and flooding"? Why did the river levels decline in the 1950s? While the section on the rivers names is interesting, I'm not sure it needs to be it's own section and could be grouped under History. Is there any information on the biotic aspects and ecology of the river?

Overall Impressions

You guys did a good job of expanding on the original article and added a lot of good information specifically on the geography and history of the river. There's a couple areas where you could expand on some ideas to improve clarity or just add info. Also there were a few grammatical and spelling errors, but overall looks good.