User:Danforth Lenard

= Hello =

First off, my name is not Danforth Lenard; he is a character from my story. My real name is Jake Jones. I write stories, mostly of humorous nature, and will be recording how they (99% of the time will be about Josh Moe) came to be. Hopefully you will read this and, even more hopefully, my stories. And, while reading these stories, I hope that you think of how they came to be.

= Josh Moe =

My most recent tale, Josh Moe and the Garden of Eden Trust Fund, is about a man named Josh Moe and his quest to Atlantis. The only reason he wants to get there is, not to make an important discovery, but rather to ask out a very old woman on a date.

He, and his best friend, Danforth Lenard (also my pen name), are always looking for aged women to take out to dinner. And they don't settle for 60-year-olds; they go after ladies that are one-hundred sixty!! I don't know why I thought of this "hobby" they have, but it works.

Not only do they compete for wrinkle bags, but they also compete to see who gets their first rival. Josh Moe, the protagonist, obviously gets the rival first. His rival, Bad Larry, had stolen lots of money, which Josh was going to use to take the old woman on a date.

I came up with Bad Larry when my math teacher (Sophomore year) kept referring to certain items as "Bad Larry". (Example: "...like this Bad Larry." She would then hold up an object.) Once I got home, I knew that I had to write a story involving a character with this name.

While pondering over Bad Larry's role, I came across the problem of sorting out the good guy. I was walking in my kitchen when, for some reason, I thought of Joe Shmoe. The casual American, right? Well me brain reprocessed the letters and -- WHAM-O -- Josh Moe.

Then I began writing the story. No plot (as usual) and I intended the story to be only a page or three long. I also wanted it to be like a TV show: STARRING: so-and-so. So I listed Josh Moe and Bad Larry; then I came up with the odd character that is my pen name: Danforth Lenard. It came to me randomly and the only credit I have to hand out is to Stephen King (his character, Danforth Keeton from Needful Things) and, possibly, Lynyrd Skynyrd (I believe I was thinking about them at the time).

And then there comes Mrs. Doctor-Pants. Still no clue as to where she came from. When I wrote it down, I hadn't realized that I'd given her a married name, so I put it along with the story. Then "Doctor-Pants" had to come into play somewhere. No, it wasn't a combination of Dr. Deest and Detective PantsyPants; it was just spur of the moment.

Then there's Rufus, my personal favorite. He's a very Kramer character (if you don't know who Kramer is, go look up Seinfeld). And, by Kramer, I don't mean that type of humor. I mean that, if this ever were a TV show, the audience would clap and cheer upon his arrival. I came up with him as a filler character but then decided to keep him. I didn't credit him in the opening credits, but I didn't credit Bill Cosby, either.

Speaking of Bill Cosby, his appearance is not minor but I don't believe I'll write him into anymore Josh Moe tales. Not sure why. At the time I'm writing this, I'm not even finished with the first story, nevermind even beginning a second. I also don't why Bill Cosby's in it.

And, finally, there's Jeffrey. He's a panda. But he's not in it for long. I wanted it to make him sound so great and that no one wants anything to happen to him...but he steps on a land mine. Oops!

There's one problem with these stories: I'm writing them in a very small notebook. I started in the last section of the notebook, expecting it to only be a few pages in length, but ended up writing much more. I don't know where I'll put the others (if there are any, which I hope there will), but most likely in another, fresh notebook. Then I'll publish them all...hopefully. (They'd probably be rated PG-13 as a movie; 14+ as a book; and Teen as a videogame.)