User:Danielletjm2001/Sexual anorexia/Zelki Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Dani Merrill


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * 


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sexual anorexia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Sandbox Draft: I don't have too many suggestions since you haven't changed much, but I like what you have changed so far. The paragraph is a lot more concise and easy to understand.

Overall: The article mentions that sexual anorexia is a colloquial term, so I would include what the technical term is as well. The last sentence in the opening seems a bit abrupt or choppy. I would look into moving that to a different section or expanding on it with another source.

Definitely double-check the citations in this article; some of them have already been flagged, and it is not a terribly long article so it should not take too long. Also check the article for uniformity in writing style because it felt a little off in places.

I don't really like the way the treatment section is written. It contradicts itself often, but presents everything as fact so it does not make much sense.

Note: "A sexual anorexic may have a social phobia or be so fragile emotionally that the risk of rejection or criticism is far more frightening than being isolated." This sentence feels very condescending and needs to be re-written. It's mostly the emotional fragility part that bothers me.