User:Daniellleee0982/Illegal mining/Eblokland Peer Review

General info
Daniellleee0982
 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Illegal mining
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Daniellleee0982/Illegal mining
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Neutrality

The article is well-balanced, and minimal statements are given persuading the reader in a specific way. For example, there are no 'I think' or 'I believe' statements within the article. Under the section Environmental Impact, it was stated that “Illegal mining has many consequences which have an incredible impact on the environment…” to remain neutral I would remove the word “incredible” from the statement or possibly replace it with the word “negative”. The word “incredible” can be opened for interpretation in which it can have negative and positive connotations. In addition, in the same sentence it was stated that “…incredible impact on the environment that in some cases is irreparable due to the carelessness minors exhibit about their environment” the phase “carelessness minors” isn’t neutral. This is because when using the word “carelessness” it is often an opinion therefore resulting in a non-neutral statement. Also, in terms of sources, all the sources listed are from peer-reviewed sources and are not from a blog or a newspaper where bias information might be presented.

Clarity

Some of the sentences in this article could be edited to improve the clarity of the article. A few examples include “Water pollution, deforestation, and soil erosion these factors affect ecosystems and biodiversity in the area” to “Factors that affects ecosystems and biodiversity around illegal mining sites are water pollution, deforestation, and soil erosion”. In addition, the following sentence could be edited from “Gold mining uses heavy metals most commonly mercury to extract the gold” to “Gold mining uses heavy metals such as … where mercury is most common”. For additional clarify, this sentence could be expanded on to discuss why heavy metals are used in mining.

Balanced Coverage

The article is well-balanced, as each of the added sections contains about the same amount of information. In relation to the posted Wikipedia article of illegal mining, more information could be added to the effects to water pollution and deforestation. For example, in the water pollution section, briefly explaining how the hydraulic cycle is impacting “surrounding communities, aquatic ecosystems, and land ecosystems”. Adding more information to the section “Environmental Impact” could provide additional information to the reader for a thorough understanding of the implication of illegal mining.

Structure

The structure of the added sections is good in relation to the article. The expansion on the environmental impacts was needed for this article to understand different implications of illegal mining. In addition, the use of sub-headings was beneficial to separate the water pollution section from the deforestation section ensuring there was no confusion between the different impacts of illegal mining.

Sources

The sources listed in the reference section appear to be peer- reviewed papers and there are no sources listed that are from blogs or newspapers that may present bias information. Where the articles added appeared to be peer- reviewed papers or a paper from the United Nations. In addition, the following sentence was added to the introduction “on an international level, approximately 80 percent of small-scale mining operations can be categorized as illegal”. This sentence needs a citation because this information needs to be backed up by a reliable source.

Suggestions for Improvement

To improve the added sections to this article, editing some of the sentence structure and wording to improve clarity. For example, the following sentence doesn’t make sense “…carelessness minors exhibit about their environment”. To clarify, explaining what you mean by ‘carelessness’ as in what exactly are the minors doing. In addition, the phase “exhibit about the environment” needs to be altered to improve clarity.

Additional information could also be added to balance the coverage with the existing Wikipedia page for Illegal mining. Also, additional citations could be added to ensure the accurate of the new information provided. For example, “illegal miners often dump excess mercury into the nearby waterways for disposal” needs a citation. In addition, as mentioned previously, the following sentence could use a citation “On an international level, approximately 80 percent of small-scale mining operations can be categorized as illegal”.