User:Danster1591/Isaac David Quiñonez

Isaac David Quiñonez, born January 10, 1985 is the Original "Most Interesting Man In The World" and "International Man of Mystery. Isaac, completed The Legend of Zelda at the age of three, and completed the original Super Marion in eight minutes.  He is known in the Phoenix Metropolitan area as "The Man With The Thrust".

Early life
Born on a ranch in the outskirts of Juarez Chihuahua, Isaac Quiñonez at the age of one developed an unkeen hand eye coordination by chasing chickens and cathing large flys. Months later he moved to Phoenix, Arizona and by the age of two he had discovered, a loners dream, video games. Isaac quickly developed into a great gamer, having beat over 100 video games by the age of four. As of now he has beaten 3,475 games. He also owns every video game console that man has ever created. As he was growing older people assumed Isaac would end up as a forty five year old virgin.

Teenage Years
By the age of fourteen Isaac was the kid everyone was asked quetions about video games, he was a great looking kid but he never wanted to go out. That is until one of his peers convinced him to go to a party on the infamous Fillmore St in Phoenix. He hessitantly agreed and that night Isaac discoverd something better than video games, Women. From that night on Isaac became a one man boy band, all the girls wanted him and all the guys wanted to be him. His sexual encounters spread from block to block to where by the age of 18 Isaac had slept with 1,872 women. His hips movement was unpresedented that he quickly earned the name, "The Man With The Thrust". He was a true nerdy pornstar.

Manhood
At the age of 18 Isaac was working at two GameLoco franchises, but after a "mysterious" burning during one of his shifts he was fired and never returned. He needed of job so he applied a place called wirefree toys, when the owner of the store called him about a position Isaac ran at the opportunity. But upon his arrival he realized that the store didnt sell phone and phone accessories, but rather the kinky kind of toy. But because of his good looks the owner was forced to fire him, so many women where in the store that it violated a fire code of to many occupants. So, he just went on to work at the less kinky wirefree toyz. Thanks to that move he met a pretty teller at the local bank. Isaac fell head over heals, he had never experienced that kind of love in his heart. Beticia was her name, the two where in love and in less than a year they where married and expecting octuplets.

Octuplets
On May 17 2008 Betty and Isaac had their octuplets, local media was excited about the babies, they where recieving gifts after gifts after gifts. Until two days later another couple had ninetuplets, all the gifts where gone. Isaac and Betty where so stressed that when, DJ Danster Dan, his cousin visited him with banana bread,Isaac completely flipped over banana bread. He asked him violently what the hell was he thinking, with banana bread. The next week DJ Danster Dan was dead covered with banana bread crums.

Avid
The couple realized that even as a manager at wirefree toyz, Isaac could not handle 9 babies even with Betty's great income at the hospital. So they gave eight of them away to adoption and they kept the cutest one with the highest rate of future success. Avid was his name a modern rugrat but instead of a screw driver handy he had a shank, condom, and an xbox 360 controller. He was following his fathers footsteps.

International Man of Mystery
Isaac Quinonez had a short stint in the acting business, in Mickey Myers movie, Austin No-Powers. He played Austin No-Danger No-Powers, until Mickey's ego got in the way and fired Isaac for being "too much like the character".

Most Interesting Man In The World
Dos X beer company hired Isaac for his charming good looks and charisma. He was going to be their famous spokesperson until Isaac was at a party on Fillmore St and was video taped drinking Coronoa and Tecato beer. While peeing over a case of Dos X beer.

Isaac Quinonez