User:Dar-Ape/life

Dar-Ape is a noted writer, columnist, speaker, computer programmer, astronaut, sculptor, nuclear physicist, neurosurgeon, philosopher, bebop pianist, Aerospace architect, evolutionary biologist, papal historian,  and person who actually used the the F keys. He has been elected prime minister of several countries, but has been unable to serve most posts due to his busy schedule.

Early life and education
Dar-Ape was born on a cold fall evening shortly following the close of the Crimean War, but well before the advent of the Swiffer. Unusually adept at pole-vaulting as a child, he used this skill to secure a scholarship at the University of Queen Maud Land. Unfortunately, a strike by cafeteria workers left him without gyro sandwiches, which he needs to consume every two weeks in order to survive. Fortunately, he was able to transfer to the Petra School of Science and Technology, where he completed his degree in ternary quantum computer programming.

Other feats
Dar-Ape also invented cheese, the Mechanical Reaper, and fortitude. Currently, he is working on adding an atmosphere to the moon so that one day people vacationing there may be able to breathe, enjoy an affordable game of frisbee, play the piano, and audibly curse.

Feel free to add anything he has not had time to include.