User:DarkDormitoryBelt

DAMN YOU LIAM

Also, watch this space. User: DarkDormitoryBelt is a user on this wiki, famous for having just started right now and not having done any edits whatsoever!

The End
The End is coming, but not as we know it. THIS IS THE APOCALYPSE and all of our knowledge will pale against the might which is an Undead army of flesh-eating mummies. Or rather, an Un-dad army, because no one in the Undead can be truly said to have a father, having, well, eaten him.

Knowledge of the End
I know of the twisted coming of the End because of a prophecy I found inscribed on the NASA (or as Emmerich likes to put it, N.A.S.A.) headquarters. It read: ''Look to your foreshadow, go fuck your aunt, until the journey continues into the pure-bled oak. You are a load of time-wasters, we do not care, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.'' Most people think this means the Horseman War.

Also, changing the coordinates of the Google headquarters, one finds this is the home of the Beast. See, it's at 18 degrees West of Philadelphia. 666.

Plot
In 2009, Karen Davis is a grumpy old bitch living in San Diego apartment. All is going unwell for her until an eyeless cop comes crashing through her door dead. Desperate to find out why this has happened, she calls her brother, only to find his sorry ass on the line, calling desperately for help because he has been kidnapped by the Great Wizard X, aka the Beast, who wants her to hand over her necklace. Apparently, the necklace is the only thing which will prevent X from ruling the world because her magic necklace can detect the Freezers, those with the power to block magic.

X threatens Karen that he will kill her brother Johnson unless she gives him the necklace. Karen complies and meets X at the preordained spot, but he fails to show up. She begins to think she imagined the whole affair, being a Harry Potter fangirl all her life, until X appears and smashes her head in. She is taken to his lair where he explains his powers.

A long time ago, X was in fact Mordred Pendragon, son of King Arthur, who nefariously killed Arthur and stole the crown. However he was kicked out by Charlemagne. A long decade of revenge followed upon which all future kings named "Arthur" were sentenced to die prematurely. Mordred called himself "X" as the legend faded into obscurity and he vowed to return when the the time was right and become king of Britain again and use his old title. However, having mastered dark magic, he knows of wizards called "Freezers" which can block magic. So he wants to destroy them all before he is king.

It turns out Karen is the last one when X tries to vaporize her but she blocks his magic. X destroyed the Freezers all but her. So she flees from X and leads him on a merry chase through California. At one point NASA get involved, but X blows up their headquarters. So Karen leads the battle back to the city, where X, furious at the distraction, challenges Karen into a fight.

Neither can win so X cheats and turns himself into a giant carnivorous plant, which snaps its jaws and is the height of the Sears Tower. Surrounding a skyscraper it chases Karen up to the top of it. However despite hacking off its tentacles, she cannot win. The tentacles just grow back. But her brother shows up and uses his deodorant to squirt the plant back into nothing, eventually reducing it back to a sapling, which is destroyed by a flamethrower.

Now with X the evil magician destroyed, the throne of England is safe, but they only get the dole from the Queen. Karen goes back to Tammy, her old room mate, and in an incredible departure from events, goes out with her brother.

Reception of the Movie
Hold it, hold it, stop right there. What is the Mugly you ask, being somewhat retarded? Well, you get the Ugly, the deformed and repulsive human individuals. Then you have the Fugly, aka Fat & Ugly, obese. Then you have the Mugly which is those that are fat and ugly, and deserve to be on mugs. Mugshots. Yep. They are mug-ugly. Just like you people are fuck ugly.

Criticism
We realize that all this article may be baffling "Those Who Like to Think They are Above Insanity". In other words, nearly everyone. Religious people may especially be offended and would wish to issue a Fatwa against me. So in due course, let me tell you who to post it to. Post your Fatwa to: The Fatwa Mailing Office, Longleat, Sussex, 666 999. Be warned that the last numbers are those of the Cops, and that simply putting 999 in would quite possibly have you revealed as a terrorist/traitor and be imprisoned at the cost of your mum. So, tread wisely around this guy.

The End
Is it true that the world will end just because a supermassive solar eclipse crashed into the ISS? Simply stating these facts when eating chocolate milk-cake will not give the game away. In many a king-led conquering style debate, this has been led to prove false because of the minor injuries and accessories involved to pass the time. We are proud to be a nation again because no one dares to criticize the Scots for singing "One Day We'll Rise Up" because nobody scorns them for it. But I can say with all due respect, Prime Minister, the oceans are warming and this could not only cause extreme melting temperatures and the end of all our beloved Twinkies but it could also cause an honorable end of our government, something we have always wanted in due course. Outside the box only the rich will thrive. Possible causes of this event would be a giant elephant doing somersaults. Panic attacks against lunar ambassadors would happen and galvanize people into making CEOs. Kingships would simply vanish forever. Ideologies about deities and what to do would crash like the International stock market, which would go off into the ether. Beyond the edges of the world we will not stand and fight; we will go to the shops for after-dinner mints and our delicious smell of the snack-a-jack coffee, if such a thing were, to Heaven forbid, exist. Now you may think I am rambling rather dishonorably like an old man, but let me tell you, if someone doesn't get this message out, allowing for the blowing of the ice caps and a catastrophic arrival of cats in Siberia, we would consequently pave way for multibillionaires to make money for the poor. Open the door and we will instead allow all this to be turned on our heads. Would we be able to adapt? We cannot simply sit still and let this invasion to be happening because our ANCESTORS gave way to e lunar-induced triumphant state which can never be forgotten, appalling though it may be with ideologies of a neo-religious kind. Unfortunately, was "neo" for modern used back in the past when it was openly considered modern? Definitely not because language was different and Mr Bill S I did not like such a thing. It is time, people, to recognize this country as the pool of internal arcane knowledge it is. Possibly, with words like how we gather in the crops might seem like greed and gingerly led oppression may resurface in a few more years but it will never leave. Royalties such as Who can bring my bike in may seem like something to be reported to cops excessively, but this is something unnecessary and unimportant. Overall, this article is to extradite the oppressors and bring a sole message to our door, something which is... odd.

Category:Internet memes Category:Jokes